Lay down... relax... and enjoy ;P
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I just tana7t, I didn’t know what to tell him.
I was speechless la2anha ma ittaragga3….
He just looked at me while I was tanni7ing.
Maybe if I just walk away, he’ll forget about it. I can’t stay anymore. I have to go. I have to walk away. Where’s Fara7? Where’s Noor? Where are the rest of my friends? I NEEEED them!!
I dropped my head to the floor and walked straight ahead, I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t know who I was going to. I was just leaving him. I peaked back at him.
He was slowly turning looking at me, wayha ma9foog. OMG! What did I do? I messed up everything. Why? Why did I do that??
He came walking in my direction hesitantly.
No. I can’t talk to him.
What is he going to tell me anyway? Do you love me? What was that about? What did you mean by that?
I felt the urge to run. But I can’t. It will look like I love him. He can’t know I love him.
He was still walking toward me, quicker now, face ma9foog akthar.
I walked into the storage room... I felt like i needed my own place to cry in ... i want to hide... no one could see me here.
I froze.
I stood there, looking straight at the floor.
I messed up everything! He will never love me now. He’ll think I’m stupid. I AM stupid. I hate myself. Why did I do that?
I felt someone behind. Very quiet. Not one word. S3ood was just standing there looking straight at my hair. My eyes were full of tears, I was about to cry. thank goodness I was giving him my back. He walked forward to face me.
NO NO NO NO! Don’t look at me. You’ll know I’m crying, you shouldn’t know that.
He looked at me.
I lifted my head to look at him.
My lips were trembling, my fingers were shaking, Goosebumps covered my arms, legs, and back. My cheeks felt hard.
What now?
S3ood looked at me straight from his gorgeous eyes into my teary, wet eyes.
The tears didn’t fall yet. (thank god)
“Shfeech?” He asked me very carefully, quietly, and calmly.
I was still staring at him.
“Nothing.” I whispered back.
He stared more.
Let him stop! I’ll cry if he did it one second longer.
He did it a second longer.
So, I cried.
He was still looking at me as I cried.
I cried.
He watched.
I cried more.
And he kept watching
After 3 long minutes of this, he finally spoke:
“Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know,”
“You should know, because I need to know.”
I was quiet. I did know why I was crying, it was very oblivious;
I love him, and I was afraid I was ruining everything at that moment. Everything I’ve been keeping for years might spill out, he’d know, he’d hate me, and I’d never get a chance to see his ridiculously handsome face of his. I repeated the famous phrase my dad always repeats: If not now, when? If not here, where? If not ME, who? I repeated it over and over and over again.
He was very patient, giving me all the time I need.
“I love you,” I bit my tongue, STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?????? SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know how this sentence was pronounced, I don’t know how these three words escaped my mouth, and I don’t know how these eight letters will be understood positively by S3ood.
I wonder if he’ll say them too. I hope he will ... his eyes widened… He was SHOCKED.
He stared at me in surprise. his face full of expression and his whole body’s muscles froze.
He did not move one cm, nor did he say one word.
Please don’t do that!!
We stared at each other some more. Everything seemed like to a dream to me; I became very dizzy.
I had to leave him before my emotions overcome me more than they already have. This shouldn’t happen!
I ran outside the storage room, the only possible empty place in the whole carnival, leaving him in place to realize everything going on.
I started wondering as I cried, who is the perfect person I can cry to without having to speak a word and feel soooooooo comfortable??....... Noor
I went to Noor crying, she’s the perfect person who can help me. “Shfeeeeeeeech, 7abeeeebty??”
“8i99a i6wela,” I choked the words out as I cried.
My talking was very quick compared to hers. “Maaaay5aliiiif, killll shay be9eeeer okaaay.”
The 3 boys were looking at me, I didn’t care.
I didn’t care if they were laughing, crying with me, or just ignoring me; they are all stupid.
The carnival ended at 8:30. Everyone left. I did not see S3ood.
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