Delicious, Different, Incredible

Carnival Crush Part 24 - set free =D

2009-06-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday were pretty much the same… on Tuesday, my mom surprisingly woke me up at 6:00 AM.

“Jood, goomay!”

“huh? YOMA?’

“ee, goomay”

“gimt’

“shoofay 7abeebty! Ily sawaitee intay akbar ‘3ala6! 3aib inich a9lan tkalmeen wa7id mat3arfeena oo i6ay7een il miyana wiya ba3ad! May9eeer… intay al7een 5ala9 kibartay oo 3igaltay oo it3arfeen il 9a7 min il ‘3ala6 moo chithee?”

“ee yoma!”

“oo tara ana ma a5af minich… ana a5af min il nass ily 7awalaich! Tara idinya it5ari3 ya 7abeebty. Momkin wa7id iyeech oo y5aly nafsa bareeee2 oo min a6yab maykoon oo a5er shay yi6la3 il 3aks”

“ee 3adil kalamich yoma”

“atwa8a3 inich al7een 3arafty ‘3al6itich, moo 9a7?”

“ee”

“oo ma ra7 it3eedeenha mara thanya’

“wala ra7 afaker”

“ashwa… 3ayal yala goomay badlay bayeebich ma3ay 7eg il camp”

“ya3ny 5ala9 shiltay 3any il 3e8ab???”

“moo kila! Ma ra7 a36eech a’3rathich”

“ok! Mashkoora yoma wayid”

“inzain. Badlay ibsr3a! maly 5ilg an6irich… a9lan zain miny 5aleetich tiyeen” Typical mom “5ams digayig oo ana mashya”

“got it!”

My mom left my room. I opened my closet and got out an offwhite knee high dress, short sleeves, oo sada. Bas kan fee black swarvoski pieces 3ala my right shoulder… I wore a thick black waist belt, with fuschia shoes, and a fuschia marc by marc Jacobs bag (I just love that brand!). I tied my hair into a slick ponytail. For make up, I applied mascara and a pink lipstick and I was ready to go. I left my room….

‘yomaaa ana jahzaaa!!!”

“inzaaain! I5thay il miftaaa7 oo rikbay il sayara ana al7een a5ali9 oo ayeech”

Oo itgooly ana ma at2a5ar 3alaiha… ha!

“ooookkkk”

I went to the living room and grabbed the keys and left the house.

We finally got to the camp.

I missed the sun, the heat, the sight of people, everything! As soon as I entered the camp area… Faroo7 came running towards me with her hands spread wide to hug me “JOOOOOOOOOOD… I MISSED YOUUU”

“hehe meee too farooo7”

“aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww joooooooooooood” noor came walking towards me looking more stylish and goergous than ever!!!

“hehe noooooor” I gave her a hug

“ooohhhhh!!! Joood? YAITAY!!!” li6eefa 6abbat 3alay oo lammatny

“hehehehe la6oooof! Istee3ab!”

“hehe! Sorry! Abaiiii laish ma yaitay?? 9arlich 2 days kashta!!.. oo ma itrideen 3ala our calls, wala shay! Bada3tay!”

“la2, um…. Mobily …. Thayi3!” that was the best excuse I can make!

“weeeeeeeeeeeeeh!”

“ee walla”

“yalla! Feeha 5eera inshalla”

“la6oof! Matwa88a3! It’s a blackberry! Mafee 5eera bilmawthoo3”

“laaaaaaaaa2 faraaaaaaaa7 latgoooleeeeen chitheeeeeee”

“hathee il 9ara7a ya3ne”

“ilmohim! Shiftaw fajer?”

“ee ihya da5il”

“offff tharooory akalimha… yalla ! see you guys, k?”

“ok!” “see ya!” “bye 7abooooby”

I ran to her group’s room, where they told me she is, and I found her talking to someone on her mobile.. lamma shafatny adish il ‘3orfa, wayiha i3tifas oo she pretended she didn’t notice me and continued talking..

“lamooy…. Hehehehe….. laaaaa2 7asafa fatatny……. Lahadaraja?..... hehe abaiiii…….. wallaaa 7asafa…. Ma sajaltay il 7al8a?....... 5ala9 3ady! Ashtireeha min il hindy iliy ybee3 dvd’s….. ee haw! Oo isha’3lita…… eeeee ihwa iyeeey baitkom oo ya36eech ily tabeeena…….. la2 moo shar6 ta6libeen ihwa iyeeb jan6ita ma3a….”

Inshalla it5ali9 ya3ny!

“5ala9 adizlich ra8ma message….. la bas mabe shay, thanks… alla y7ayeech… see you too… bye!”

FINALLY

Lama 5ali9at min il mokalama, lafat, oo as if I was completely invisible, she walked right past me and left the room. Ana bas tana7t ga3da a6ali3 jidamy!!! Hathee moo fajer ily a3arifha!!!

Carnival Crush Part 23 - Prison Break

2009-06-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up the next day and found a message on my BB…

1 new message
Mama 0096500000000

يبي تلفونك و الأيبود و اللابتوب و كل
الأجهزة الي عندك و حطيهم في داري
و ترا للعلم ما راح تطلعين من دارك حتى
أقول لك

I had extreme difficulties reading the message…. Yet I made it through!! Hehe…
But noooo…. I can’t live without my ipod, BB, nor laptop…. I just can’t… life will be miserable.

I mean, people always talk about communicating with people oo 9elat il ra7im.. oo ka! This is my way of doing it.. fa technically, illy omy ga3da itsawee 7araaaam…

Yesterday, Thursday, was the longest day in my whole, entire life!!!

So.. okay.. let’s say she grounded me today, Friday, and tomorrow, Saturday… will she not make me go to the camp on Sunday????

I cleared my mind from all my endless questions and kissed goodbye all the electronics my mom is taking away.. and went to my room, slammed the door, and stuffed my head in the pillow and screamed as LOUD as I can….

* * *

7:00 PM

I didn’t hear my mom enter the house, she didn’t even call to check on me like she usually does!!! She simply went straight to her room, trying to forget the fact that I actually exist! How can she do that???

So I just sat, looking at myself in the mirror

What I have done is a terrible mistake and I realize that now, thank god my mom ra7 tastir 3alay oo ma tiftha7ny jidam rabi3ha! Bas kilman beshik itha ma ri7t on Sunday..

That’s when I remembered Fajer… allah ra7amha by not letting her have enough courage to face Fawaz.. wallaaa allah y7bha!!! Oo I have to tell her il salfa 3ashan she knows that.

Oo what about s3ood, what will I tell him? How will I apologize after everything that happened?? Will he accept it or bas ignore me??

I just sat there looking at myself in the mirror, soooo bored I can’t handle this!! I went to my desk, pulled out the drawer and grabbed a deck of cards and started playing solitare.. walla shakly yaksir il 5a6er!!! When I grew bored, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

On Friday, I woke up late since my mom doesn’t talk to me and so she won’t wake me up. i stretched my arms and got up. my hair smelled sooo bad, I desperately need a shower. I took me a shower; and as I was taking it, I was thinking about my name… Jood. It is the lamest, most boring name any girl can have. I mean, you can’t have a nickname. Come on! Like, what? Jwaid? Joodo, jodjod, jojo? Hey! Jojo isn’t bad, is it? That’s it! I came up with a nickname! I wore my robe and got out of my bathroom into my room and got me the hair dryer… when I dried it.. min il fara’3a 6ala3tly il straightner oo ga3adt oo I straightened my hair! Lamma 5ala9t shift il sa3a…. 3:00 PM

OLLLLAAAAA! It’s sooo late!... oo that’s when I realized I was starving! I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday when I went to the movies with ratooj oo ‘3anoom. WOW! I have to eat right now or I’m gonna die..

With my hair falling to my shoulders and my snoopy pajama wrinkled from sleeping, I slipped my feet into my bunny slippers and finally managed to escape my room.

First I peeked from my room to the hallway, like a prisoner escaping jail! I looked so ridiculous. Then, I sneaked out-baby footsteps- looking around me after every step.. when I finally reached the living room, I was looking behind me and ti9arga3t lama sima3t my mom itgooly

“shim6al3ich intay?” ib kiiiil biroood

“huh? Um…. Yo3ana”

“inzain?”

“yoma… abee akil” is she kidding me?

“ana moo giltlich ma ti6li3een min darich?” boroodha ynarfiz

“ee. Bas abee akil”

“riday darich” oo she looked back at the magazine

“yomaaaa?????? Min9ijich?”

“…………………..”

“YOMAAAAAAA”

“darich…” still looking at her magazine as if she's suddenly interested... ugh!!!!

I cried and went back to the room… she’s kidding right? I mean, she’s not gonna starve me to death, is she?

I went back to my pillow to scream, but I can’t, I have no energy, I’m huunnngryyyyyy!! Instead, I went back to sleep.

When I woke up again, I looked at my clock, it read 6:30 PM…. i found a tray of food on my desk! God! It feels like I’m prisoned… the tray had a plate of machboos diyay and a glass of water.

Bas maby machboos diyay al7een moo mishtiheeta. Bas my appetite doesn’t matter right now! I ate my whole plate and went back to playing jinjifa… when I was bored I went back to sleep.

Carnival Crush Part 22 - realization

2009-06-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone ;**... enjoy

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I opened my eyes at the sound of noise; a lot of people talking at one time, a sour taste, and something cozy under my head. Wait, there are other sounds… what are they? Trolleys? Yes trolleys! I opened my eyes, and the ceiling above me was moving quickly. What the hell is going on here? I think I hit my head, and ouch… it hurts!

I decided that everything would be much less confusing if I closed my eyes again.

* * *

“Ha dictor, binty shlonha?’

“i6aminay, ma feeha ila il salama. Bas lazim tirta7 shway”

“ya3ny mita ra7 ti6la3?”

“mita matgoom oo it7is inha misti3ida itrid… itrid. 5alty lat7ateen tara ma 9ar feeha shay.”

“eeeeh, inshala.. mashkoor”

I was listening to them with my eyes closed. I still wasn’t ready to open my eyes, but I was gathering all my energy to do so…. I want to go hooome!!!

After several minutes, I opened my eyes.. everything looks blurry!

“BNAAAYTYYYYYYYY”

“hala yoma” I whispered, but I don’t think anything was heard… I cleared my throat

“7abeebty.. 7AYATY.. shlounich al7een? Rasich y3awrich? Day5a? yo3ana? Goolay goolay.”

“yoma, ma feeny shay. Bas aby arja3 il bait”

“7ather 7ather 7ather” she ran to the side of the bed to help me up “yaallllaaaaaa…. 3afya 3afya wala…” suddenly her voice was sharp and serious when she said “oo tara 7sabich ma3ay”

Riiiight… I forgot about that part!

Lama wi9alt il bait oo ga3adt… ma midany atsanad chan tabdy il zafa….

“INTAY SHINU BITHAB6 KINTAY GA3DA ITFAKREEN YA7MARA?? FASHALTEENA ALLA YFASHLICH…. La2 la2 la2 ana mo m9adga MO M9ADGA INA BINTY… JOOOD… ITSAWY CHITHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHLOOON?? SHLOOOOOOOOON? BAS 3ALMOOONY SHLON?”

Ma wa3ait ila s6ar yany on my left cheek… chan a7i6 eedy 3ala 5ady oo abchee… bichait 7aaaaaaiiiiiiil…

“INTAAAY THOLA… ZAIN??? ADRY INA IL 2OM IL MAFROOTH MATGOOL HAL 7ACHY IL MALI8 BAS INTAY TISTAHLAIN… FA BASIBICH OO AGOLICH INTAY THOLA! SHLON IT5ALEEEN 9BAY 7MAAAAAR 8ATHER 8ALEEEEL ADEB WA6Y YIGI9 3ALAICH IB HAL 6AREE8A HATHEE??? SHLON????? SHBEGOLOON 3ANA IL NAS AL7EEN??? ANA GILT 7EG IL SHIR6A YASTIROON 3ALAICH GAD MA YIGDIROOON BAS MA NATHMIN YA7MAAARAAAAA MANATHMIN”

My mom is 3a9abiya her whole life… and I’m so used to it… but I never saw her that angry before… not even when I ripped her chanel dress before going to my cosin’s wedding.

“ANA IL TARBIYA ILY TA3ABT 3ALAIHA KILHA RA7AT BALASH!!! …………… 7MARA WALLLLLLA 7MAAAARAAAAAAA MADREEE SHASAWEE FEECH ANA!! MAA ADREEEE…’

Oo she left the living room and slammed her room door…

What have I done? I never expected Fawaz to be that devil he turned out to be… but how? How can he act SO damn good and LIE TO MY FACE and tell me he loves me… and s3ood, dear s3ood, all he ever wanted was to avoid this problem as much as possible… He kept giving him dirty looks, he slapped him, hit him… FIGHTED with him for me… how come I was so stupid, so blind, not thinking about the consequences… Love is stupid.. it doesn’t even exist! I know it from my experiences now… I’m done with love.. DONE… I can’t do it anymore.. I wasted years of my precious teen years searching for my true love… thinking he’ll be there, thinking we’ll love each other from first sight… that’s STUPID! I’M STUPID for believing those insane fantasies. S3oood was right… he was damn right about everything. I didn’t listen to him, I ignored all his attempts to protect me even after I messed up with him in the carnival. He even convinced his mother to fire Fawaz because he wanted MY safety, he didn’t want anything like this to happen to me…

I cried waaaay too much, more than anyone can, my cry turned to an ugly cry.. where you make all those funny faces and noises trying to get it all out.

I’m stupid

Carnival Crush Part 21 - Busted

2009-06-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! bas i wanted to say to all my readers... pleeeeaaase comment, i mean a lot are and I'm so happy! but there are a lot of silent readers, and I'd like to know how many are actually reading my blog... thanks.. best wishes ;****

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We rode the policeman’s car, I was shivering to death! What will my mom say? My friends? My family? Will I ever get married after this? I mean, ma kan 8a9dy yi9eer kil hatha! Ya3ny… ihwa ily basny mo ana… 9a7? Ooooohhhh madry madry!! Bas it’s not my fault, and not his either… it’s that guy’s fault ily fatten 3alaina! Ishyaby ihwa? Ma 3inda shi’3il ‘3air ina yiti6amash bil nas???

Through the ride… ma kan fee wala kilma… because he said that what happened was clear and if either of us talked one more word, he will make this an even bigger problem than it already is.

I was crying silently, and Fawaz looked very calm and cool…

When we got to the ma5far…. They took me to a room and let me sit there alone until my parents came so they can deal with this problem…

………

When my parents came… I didn’t even see them… an officer took me to another room to be asked questions…

I got in with tears yanziloon arba3, arba3….

“gi3day” il thabi6 ille ga3id 3ala maktib galle ag3ed 3el kirsee ille jidama…

I sat down quickly and silently, i was already scared and he terrified me even more by the way he appeared and stared at me!

then he started telling me:

“6ab3an ily 9ar kilish mo 9a7.. la bil deen, wala bil 3adat wil ta8aleed. Hatha shay il mafrooth intay min nafsich it3arfeena… oo il mafrooth

itfat7een 3ainich oo mat5aleen ay 9bay yalmisich aw yisti’3ilich ib hal 6aree8a”

FAWAZ MO GA3ID YISTI’3ILNY!!! FAWAZ YI7IBNYYY!! SHFEE HATHA???

“oo il moshkila il akbar, ina kintaw ib mokan mashbooh… ily ihwa da5il sayara bil masafi6……ismich…”

“J-J-J-Jood” my voice was quivering…

“il…”

“i-i-il- F-F-F-Flanii”

“al7een il walad mat3arfeena wala y9eerlich… laish ga3da wiya?”

“………….”

“HA?” faj2a 9arra5 oo ana fazzait… chan ag3ed abcheee…..

“RIDDAY 3ALA SO2ALEEE…..”

My voice was sooo tiny and small compared to his… I whispered back

“a7iba”

“INZAIN… OO TITWA88A3EAN 7ATTAN IHWA Y7BBCH?”

“e”

“LAAAAAAA YAAAAA 7ABEEEEEBTEEEEEEEE! TARA IL DINYAAAAA MOOO CHITHEEEEEEE!!!! TARAAAA LI9BAYAAAAAAN NIYAT-HOOOOM MOOOO

6AYBAAAAAA”

“oo inta shdarrak shinu niyata?”

“SHINU?! ANA SHDARANE? HAHAHAHA! MIN ILLY IYOOOOONI KIL YOOOM… OO INTAY BA3AD LAT9ADGEEN INICH IB FILM WILA SHAY”

“……………………………”

“Chem 6awaltay ma3a bisayara?” thank goodness he calmed down.

“madre”

“ihwa gal inkom kintaw biddishoon film 3adil?”

“e’

“issa3a cham kan il film?”

“walla ma athkir” and I started crying again……..

The officer rolled his eyes, then itsannad 3ala his elbows to get closer to me…

“sim3eene sim3eene… intay it3arfeen bas abeech tit-thakkarean”

“um… 3??”

“ok…. Oo il shir6e shafkom il sa3a 4:15”

HUUUUUUH??? MA38OOOOOOOLAAAA?? I SAT THIS LONG WITH FAWAZ IN THE CAR??? KISSING HIM????? LA2 LA2 LA2

“’3ala6”

“il shir6e willa intay?”

“il shir6e”

He called the officer to make sure, then looked at me and nodded as he closed the phone…

“shafkom at 3:15”

I smiled silently in relief

“inzain… sim3eeene, intay malich thanb bilsalfa, ihwa ga9 3alaich.. oo intay ga9er, ya3ne 3omrich i9’3eer… BAS…. Ya jood… intay bint 7ilwa oo mazyoona oo abeech iddeereen balich 3ala nafsich ok? Lat5alleeen hel shabab il shiya6een yigi9oon 3alaich… tara walla niyat-hom moo 6ayba.. i5theeha minny”

“Fawaz moo chithy…” I was SO positive… SO sure of what I was saying

He stared at me for a while then said…. “ta3alay ma3ay…”

I followed him outside the room, walked down a long hallway, then to another room.. il thabi6 6ag il bab chan yidish.. il ‘3orfa kanet kibeera… oo kan ga3id FAWAZ???? Oo jidama wagif shir6y.

“dishay" il thabi6 told me, chan yiltafton 3alay Fawaz oo il shir6e. dashait chan ogef yam il shir6e oo il thabi6 ga3ad yam Fawaz oo galla.. “goolaha yala” with a dirty look.

Shafne Fawaz, snickered when he saw me crying, then said:

“Jood, tara kil shay 9ar moo 9ij” chan yilif 3el thabi6 "chithy zain?” with a devilish smile.

I simply stared at him, eyes wide open. He turned to look at me with a devilish smug on his face… ba3dain ana 3alagt… I can’t move, I can’t speak, I can’t do anything

La2 la2 la2… fawaz moo chithee…How can he do this to me? S3ood was right! DAMN he was right! I was stupid, I was naïve, I was clueless about this boy… S3ood knew it all along… how was I that stupid? How did love blind me from seeing what was behind the covers. How can Fawaz betray me? But he said it to me from the very beginning… he was staring at me the whole time in the carnival!! HOW??? Was he staring because he had this serious crush on me, or because...??? Noooooooooooo…… bas shlone????? I mean, was it love at first sight? Or….. trick at first sight????...... la2 ‘3ala6.. maybe I’m dreaming.. yes yes I’m dreaming… tomorrow I’ll wake up and I’ll probably laugh at this stupid dream… yes I’m dreaming.. I can wake up now……..

…. Everything started to look black I can’t see anything….. now I can’t hear anything……...................................................................................... and now I can’t feel anything……..

What kind of beauty do men look for??

2009-06-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was talking to my mom... I was asking her about il 5i6ba oo chithe.. all men these days min shiroo6 zawajhom il jamal... fa shlon illy moo 7ilwa? ya3ny it's not fair! moo shay beedha! oo ba3dain why do they care so much about beauty? they should look for sana3, thigil, 3agil... oo a8alha itkoon il bint ma8boola ya3ny moo jaikara!

Bas my mom told me ina each guy has a certain definition of beauty.. some like Spanish looks, others like white, tall girls...

Bas why do guys care SO much about looking for the perfect girl? no one is perfect! oo what exactly do they want? why? Help me out here!!!!

Carnival Crush Part 20 - I kissed a boy and I liked it

2009-06-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

heeeey everyone.... enjoy =D

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On Thursday…..

I went with a couple of my friends to the Avenues; Ratooj and 3’anoom…

In the Avenues, when we were standing in line to buy tickets for the cinema, there was this hot guy standing in front of us, he was alone…

Ana ma da88a8t ib malam7a, bas ya3ne I knew he was hot from the way he stood and the way he wore his clothes. I was just staring at his back! I looked sooo ridiculous! Bas really I CAN’T resist, hehehe!

Then he turned to look at who was staring, obviously me, and my jaw dropped… it was FAWAZ!

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!”

“FAWAAAAAAZ”

“minzimaaaaaaaaaaan 3aniiiiiich’

“you tooo… abbaaaaaaaii 7addeeeee walhaaaaanaaaa”

“walla ana akthar, ma tit5ayilean’ oo he winked

My stomach fell to my feet

I totally blushed, looked down, and smiled…. He noticed, hehehe

“olla olla olla! Hahaha! Tara ma gilt shay ana!!! Kil hatha lanne walaht 3alaich???”

I laughed shyly.

“inta yay broo7ik?”

“la2 il rabi3 yishtiroon il popcorn oo i3tamdaw 3ala tho8e, intaw ay film bitroo7oon?”

“3omar oo Salma 2”

“waaaaiiii3 min9ijkom??”

“i7na indawer il romance wil comedy hehehe’

“haaa!!! Chitheee…. La 3ayal ok”

It was his turn…

“Ladies first’

“huh?? La2 Fawaz, it’s your turn!”

“3yoon Fawaz, yalla imshay jiddami”

I blushed again, it’s not something I can control… really!

“wallaaaa, it’s easy to make you blush, isn’t it?”

“hehehe!! Baaaaaaaas! Oo thanks for..um.. your turn!”

“no problem’

Rataj and ‘3aneema followed me totally thaybeeeeen min Fawaz, his 3asaly eyes and his light brown, soft hair… uhhhhhhhhhhhh… he is so exhaustingly handsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rataj: Joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood???? Minuuu hathaaaaaa??

“laish??? iyannnnnnnin 9a7??”

‘3anoom: 7addddddddddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I gave ‘3anoom and Ratooj the cinema tickets to go in their before me, I had to talk to Fawaz.

I found Fawaz with two friends still in the line for popcorn.

I went to him….

When he saw me approaching him, he quickly started walking to me with a wide smile on his face.

“Fawaz….”

Ma rad…..

“haw!!! Fawaaaaaaz shfeeeek??”

“La2! Bas a5af arid 3alaich, oo you blush”

“waaaaaaaaaay”

“hahaha! Just kidding… amray…”

“bass…. About the summer camp…”

“Don’t worry about it! 3ady!”

“LA2! MOO 3ADII! I want you to come back, Fawaz’

“may5alif, ma 3alaeh, marra thania”

“shinu ya3ne? 5ala9 ra7 taskit oo it5allee s3oodooo ysawee illee yabee?”

“la2 jad ya3ne… shinu agdar asawee ana?”

“rid 3alae!!!! 6IGGGA! I DON’T CARE!!”

“Jood……”

“Fawaz… may9eer”

“adree inna may9eer, oo 7saba ma3ay! Bas inna I go back to the camp, hatha 9ij ya3ne ma agdar.. 5ankoon wa8i3iyeen shway”

…………………..

“Fawaz…. Tharoorii iddish il film?”

“haha! I was going to ask you the same question, ta3alay ma3ay!”

“wain?”

“just follow”

He whispered something to his friends… and then we headed out of the cinema, we went down the escalator, walked a little then down another one to the parking lot.

Lamma istaw3ebt inna we were heading to the parking lot, ana wigeft oo ni6arta yogef oo ga3da a5izzaa.

“Fawaz??? Laish parking lot??”

“m-m-madree…. Ya3ne gilt inna arya7lina nig3ed bil sayara broo7na”

“huh?”

“etha ma tabeen 5ala9 5el nirje3 fog oo nig3d ib café aw shay’

I thought about it: would I rather sit in a car with Fawaz alone and talk about whatever I want to talk to him and get as close to him as I want… and tell him the big thing: that I love him. Or….. sit in a dumb old café where everyone is looking at everyone?

Duh………

CAR!!!!

“la la 3adi” I said quickly and started walking.

I could see he was happy.

When we got to the car, I just stared at him….

It was a PORSCHE! A navy blue Ferrari!

I turned to stare at him with my jaw falling.

“You don’t even DRIVE”

“I know” he gave me a goofy smile “but I’m the only son, between 3 older sisters”

“WOW”

The navyblue Ferrari was shaded pitch black… ila il manthara ily jidam, ily he sees through it to drive… I was soooo happy because of that…

He ran around the car and opened me the door

Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

“thank you” and I entered the car

He ran around it and got in…

It was complete silent for a minute there, then he turned to face me… and I turned to face him.

He gave me a warm smile and was glaring right into my eyes. His beautiful eyes into mine. Then he gently put his hand on mine which was on my lap and whispered

“Jood…”

“na3am” I whispered back… I don’t know why we’re whispering!!!

“a7ibich”

I was looking at his hands holding mine, but when he said that I quickly looked up at him and his smile was not there… he wasn’t joking! He meant it!

His eyes were still looking into mine, but this time cautious… I knew that he didn’t want to mess this whole thing up, he wanted everything to go perfect… exactly like what I wanted.

I stared back at him… that’s it! This is the time to tell him! Yalla yalla jood, you can do this!

“Fawaz….”

“hala walla”

I noticed that he was getting closer…

“tara I love you too”

His head was tilting left… and closer….

“Fawaz….” I was whispering

“3youni” he was whispering too and looked into my eyes, then my lips, then back to my eyes….

And closer….

“I love you”

He was too close, his face was inches away from mine…

“Fawaz….”

and then he kissed me.

This is my first kiss!!! I never actually kissed a guy before, wala kan 3indy a8al jor2a iny ajarib… bas al7een… al7een… Fawaz is kissing me… the guy I am ready to lose my whole life for is kissing me.

Then slowly he started backing off.

“You were saying….”

We both laughed…

“hehehe! Never mind”

“Jood….”

“na3am”

“so…. You love me?”

“Fawaz?! Ana madree ishga3da gool 9arle sina misa3a”

“hahaha!” he looked down shyly.. awwwwwww he looks soooo cute

He turned back to me and held my hand and kissed it.

“Jood…”

“na3am?”

He waited for me to look at him…. When I did, he held my face with both his hands and was getting closer, and pulling me to him…

“a5er marra….”

He started kissing me again…. Then…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

We both turned quickly to see a man im8atter with his wife standing near a policeman… who was knocking on the only unshaded front window….

SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carnival Crush Part 19 - Rebellion

2009-06-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

Heeeeeey!!! this post is kind of short.... enjoy !!! =D

Dedicated to CuteandCuddly ;***

___________________________________________

I turned to Faroo7

“what now?”

“7aram.. Fawaz has to come back!’

“ma 3indy wala shay minna… la ra8ma.. wala his email… wala facebook.. wala wala wala shay!’

“Oh my god! …….” After thinking for a while, she pulled my rist and started running. “imshay 5ankallim 5alty Nawal.”

“ok!”

We found 5alty Nawal just where we knew we’d find her… in the meeting room in the four room hallway…

The little crybaby(S3oodooo) was sticking with his mom probably still gossiping about poor Fawaz..

I knocked once at the door and entered with Fara7 behind me…

When 5alty Nawal looked at me.. wayyiha i3tifes.. then when she saw Fara7 behind me.. she managed to say “7ayakom 7abaybe” in the sweetest voice bas 3ashanha! ugh!

I turned to see what S3ood was doing: he was sitting at the middle of the table facing the door, us… and had a laptop.. he was probably ga3id yinazzil il pictures on the laptop…. Bas whatever! He is still a crybaby!

When he noticed me looking at him.. he quickly raised his glance to me… his eyes looked so pitiful.. mine were very angry.. I flipped my hair and I turned to look at 5alty Nawal and noticed that Fara7 had already started talking to her…

“5alty, tara walla 7araaam… Fawaz moo msawee shay…. Hathee hosha bain il 9bayyan il

mafrooth ohma they deal with it on their own as old, mature men” at this Fara7 turned to glance at S3ood then turned back to 5alty. WAY TO GO GIRL!

At this, S3ood il MALGOOOF stood up

“bas etha fee ma9la7a 7eg kil il banat illy yishta’3lon a3ti8id inna il a9a7 inna ydawer mokan thaneee ….” He tracked off. I wonder what he was about to say…

He was looking at Fara7 and a bit at me when he was saying this….

Then I couldn’t bare myself… and I exploded!

“BAS INTA MATADREE SHINU NIYATA OO SHINU HIS ATTEMPTS WERE!”

I turned to 5alty Nawal and contintued…

“TARA WALLA 7ARAAAM 3ALAIIKOM ILLy GA3A ITSAWWOONA”

Then fara7 slowly pulled me back from my white DKNY summer dress… I tripped a bit from my red flats.. but I caught my balance..

We left the room with no other word.. they got the message! 5ala9! No need to get glances from the two beasts!

On our way walking back to the Group Three Big Room.. my BB beeped..

BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!

1 new message:
From: Fajoooor

Home

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa2!!! Why does this always happen to me? Do I attract bad luck and repel human beings? What’s wrong with me these days? This problem between me and Fajoor is starting to get serious. I mean, like, it's not worth it!!! I mean... yeah the guy is HOT and ya36y wayh and is soooo romantic.. but... OKAY IT IS WORTH IT and she better step off cause I got him FIRST..

Fara7 grabbed the BB from me and had the same shocked countenance as I did.

We walked back to our Group (found Noor still in the same position she was in hehehehe)and the day continued with Noor, Fara7 and me hanging around with noisy 3 to 6 year-old kids…

No Fajer..

No Fawaz…

No S3ood…

S3ood and his stupid mom hung out all day working on sorting out the pictures from the Carnival to CD's so that other companies can look at their accomplishment and so their little company would be introduced… Like there is nothing else to do….

Tuesday finally ended… and I didn’t want Thursday to come… I planned on going to the Avenues with a couple of school friends.

Carnival Crush Part 18 - Chasing Liberty

2009-06-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

“I LOVE HIM” she blurted out!

It hit me like a brick wall…. everything came back to me now... yes right!!! when we sat at lunch and she didn't touch her food... back in the carnival when she was sooooo damn quiet... malha 7is!

Fajer fell on her knees sobbing, crying, whining, …. Oh my god, what did I do to her??

The four girls and I simply stared at her totally SURPRISED!

Usually when one of us feels a teeny weeeny hint of a crush, we’d be running to each other, squeeling and saying ‘I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM HE’S TOTALLY THE ONE’

But why was she soo quiet about it? She should’ve told me so I would step back from the first place.

“since when” was all that managed to escape my mouth after that huge heap of surprise.

“Since the first time I saw him in the carnival with his Kaki Shorts and polo t-shirt.”

“why didn’t you tell me?’

“I didn’t know he’ll be sticking around very often, I thought he’s just like the rest of the guys who visit… just come.. yi6amishon… then leave… oo 5ala9 I don’t see him again!”

“inzain…. What now??”

The rest were still just staring with jaws wide open…

“Jood, I LOVE him… I’m crazy about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. Please, just let this one be for me… I know he’s the right one.”

“FAJER?! Ishga3a itgooleeen ya3ne? tabeene ahidda?? NO WAY!’

“JOOOOD PLEEEEEAAAASE”

“Fajer!! I love him more than you do okay?”

“No you don’t!”

“yes I do!!!”

“How do you know???”

“I JUST KNOW okay?”

“JOOD….” She tried as much as possible to control her anger.. “intay a78ar insana shift-ha ib 7

ayatee… il ananiya mistawliya 3alaich… ma shift mithilich! Il 9bayan misti3ideen yogfoon TA7AT reelich 3ashan ta36eenhom wayh… oo intay 5allaeteehom killihom oo ri7tay 7eg illy ana a7ibba oo ma ra7 it5aleena 7attan 3ogob ma gitlich inny maynoona ib 7obbaaa!!”

She turned around and left the big room… leaving the Noor, La6oof, Sara, Fara7, and me, just stand there looking at the door squeak as it closed.

La6oof snapped out of it and looked at me…

‘el7een fee sha’3la ana moo fahmat-ha ib salfitich bil hosha oo hel 7osa…. Ana shako?”

I didn’t even look back at her and just ran outside the room after Fajer….

Once I opened the door, I fell flat on my back… OOOOOOHHHHHH!!! THAT HURTS
I looked up, and it was my mom…. Ugh maaaaaaan!!!

She didn’t even look down at me and apologize.. nothing… she just skipped me and went to the four girls sitting in circle in the middle in the room. Each girl looked like she was slapped at least 4 times…

My mom joined the circle, and they made a place for her.. I also sat…

We all looked back at each other knowing trouble was coming…

“Hala banat shlounkom?”

“zaineeeeeen 7ayateeeee mashkoooora maaatga9reeen” Noor was the only one that managed to reply, all of us were frozen with fear….

“yayya bas2alkom 3ennnn…. Fawaz etha it3arfooon 3anna shay….” And she turned at La6oof who’s face was now red.

“ana ma3arif shay” la6ooof got up and left the room.

A777777777777777!!!! Yal5aaaaaaaaaynaaaaa!!!!

I took a quick glimpse at Noor and Fara7, the only two that remained with me….

Fara7 nodded reassuring me that she was with me…. I just love that girl!!!

Noor 6ab3an ma tadree wean alla ga66ha… kanet ga3da i66ali3 her split ends in her long hair….

“wean Fajer???”

Fara7 and I both answered at the same time….
“ra7et il 7ammam” “ma tarayyiget”

Ooops! I stared at Fara7 with my eyes wide, and she stared back too.

“No.. ya3ne we mean inna… she… ra7et il 7ammam oo ba3dain bittarayyag..”

My mom was more confused then we were…

“ooookaaaay…….. inzain….. shinu il salfa goolooliyyaha… i3tabroony koborkom.. 9adee8atkom.. yalla”

Ha! Good one mom! You will NEVER and I repeat… NEVER understand….

“la2 5alty il salfa 6weela.. bas 3rfay inna Fawaz ihwa il mathloom.. oo S3ood ihwa il ‘3al6an’

“bas law s3ood ‘3al6an.. chan ma yab 6are il salfa 7eg omma… 9a7 kalame willa la2!’

“la2.. 3adil kalamich… bas yimkin min his point of you inna ihwa il 9a7.. bas min the rest of the world’s point of view, ihwa the biggest meanest guy in the world”

“OLA OLA OLA …. Shimsawee ihwa 3ashan kil hel kirh??”

“……..…”

ifff ifff ifff ifff omi 7anana oo malgoofa oo ifffffffffffffffffffff.... lazim ni6la3! a7is iny captive 3indaha.... abee freedom!!! lazim a6la3 al7eeen or else ra7 anfijer oo agoolaha kil il salfa.. oo that's definitely not what fara7 and I want to end up with, mom knowing everything!

“banaaaaaaat.. gooloooooooleeee…”

“5alty tara 7attan i7na man3arif il salfa 3adil walla… ya3ne i7na 5ayfeen ingoolich shay yi6la3 ‘3ala6… 3araftay?? Oo ya3ne 7aram.. ma nabe nathlim a77ad.’

“kil hatha oo ma thalamtaw S3ood?”

“Yommaaa… bas ma nabee in7ish..”

“7abeeebteeee.. hahahaha! Intay a5er wa7da titkalimaen fahma???”

“la2 9ij, 5alty, i7na 8arrarna inwagif ilyom’

“ee mashala… inshoof…… alla ytamim 3alaikom bas” (sarcastic) ugh!

“yalla Faroo7 warana shi’3il 9a7?? Imshay 7ag groupna!”

“ee 9a7 Jood oo i7na lazim ingoom el7een….. yalla 5alty… i7na masheen.”

“bas yomma… 7i66ay ib balich… kil shay galeh S3ood ihwa il 3aks tamaman!”

My mom just stared at us blankly as we got up and left, analyzing everything we just said.

Then when we got out, we heard my mom yell “bas hatha groupkom” bas we totally ignored her hehehe!

“Good save!”

“thanks!!! You too… 7addich you stood beside me when I needed you!”

"afa 3alaich! TA3ALAY hehehehe 5alaina Noor broo7ha!"

"hehehe ashik inha la7ithat"

" el7een 5andawwer Fajjooor”

“ee yalla”

We ran searching for Fajer, so we sent her a text message from my Black Berry:

1 sent message
To: Fajoooor
Fajjooooor!!! Weeeaaannniiiich??
We looked for you EVERYWHERE!!

I turned to Faroo7

“what now?”

Carnival Crush Part 17 - Girlfriends can fight over stupid things

2009-06-16T05:11:00.000-07:00

Heeeeeeeeey everyone it's TUESDAY :D !!!!

_________________________________________________

“la2ana i6ridta Nawal, oo ana abee at2akked min il bint nafs-ha 3ashan at2akked inna i7na moo thalmeen il walad.”

NA3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM??????????

I jumped on my feet!!

So far, this was the worst news I heard since knowing I failed in the World History Final Exam….

This can’t be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY?!?!?!

5ara 5ara 5ara 5ara 5ara feeeeeeeeeeek s3ooodoooooo… AKRIHIIIIIIK!!!!

I was just staring blankly at our beige carpet, and then I realized my mom was calling me..

“Jood? Jood?... haw jood!! Shfeech?? JOOOD!!”

“ha?”

“way3a! shfeech?"

“la2 la2! Bas yomma maskeen il walad tara 7adda mathloom! Walla tara ihwa moo msawee shay!”

“ma3nata intay 3arfa il salfa! Oo 3arfa il bint illy ihwa mit7arish feeha 9a7?”

“ta8reeben”

‘Golleeeely minu? 3ashan akalimha!”

“huh? Uhhh…. La6ooof!” SHIT “la2 bas yomma, ya3ny maskeena ihya 7aram ya3ny, galatly ma agool 7eg a7ad, 3araftay?? Ra7 tikrahny etha kalamteeha, la2anna ma3nata ana chathab-t 3alaiha.. yomma please latkalmeenha”

I was talking too fast, my mom was barely listening. She eyed me confused.

“7abeebty, 7abeebty, ana bissayara ma3assalama”

My mom got up and went down the staircase

“YOMMAAAAA WAIIIIIIIIIIIT!”

I grabbed my green marc by marc Jacobs clutch and ran after her trying to catch up… shit shit shit, what the hell did I just do???

I got in the car, and we were both very silent….

Unfortunatley, Fara7 is the only volunteer with us that has a BB… so I BBMed her…

Jood: Faroooooooooooooooo7 SHIT
Fara7: shfeeeeeeeeeeech??
Jood: la6ooof is in BIG trouble
Fara7: shimsawya ihya?
Jood: ihya moo imsawya shay, ana illy imsaweeta!
Fara7: a7777777777777777
Jood: I know!!!
Jood: PING!!!
Fara7: haaaa?
Jood: shasawy al7eeeeeeeeeeen? My mom is gonna
talk to her
Fara7: let her act
Jood: ok
Jood: bas goleelaha
Jood: PING!!!
Fara7: okkkkkkkkkkkkk

Adreee!! I was a bit 7annana, hehehehe, bas shasawy 7addy 5ayfa!

As soon as we got there, my mom was extra curious to know the “salfa”!! uughhh… MOMS!! I left my mom standing there and ran to Faroo7. As soon as she saw me, she grabbed me from my white dress and dragged me to the Group Three 8a3a…
There I saw all the girls mityam3een; Noor, Sara, La6oof, and Fajer, as soon as we made some noise as we walked, they all turned and looked at ME….

“waaaaaaaay yommaaa it5ar3oon!!”

No one smiled, nor laughed… it wasn’t time for my jokes!

Oookaaay then…..

La6oof: “Joooooood! SHAKO ITGOOLEEN 7EG OMMICH INNY ANA IL SABAB LAISH INNA FAWAZ IN6ARAD???”
I should describe La6oof for a second:
She is tall, thin, white, and has light brown hair. She is SUCH A NICE person, I’ve never seen a nicer person than her when it comes to having fun. But once someone crosses the line with her… the beast within emerges! Trust me, you’ll never want to see that.

Inside, I was soooo frightened she might EAT me! But I tried to act as coooool as possible as I talked back to her, but ofcourse.. the rest of the girls didn’t even give me a chance!!!

“FAWAZ IN6ARAD????” apparently, Sara had no idea of what was going on!

“AY SHAAAAY!!” (Fajer) hehe! Even Fajer

“7araaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam” aaand even Noor….

Sara looked at me…..

“Oh my god, Jood, I’m sooo sorry!!!”

“Why?” Fajer looked at me questioning.

“Long Story’

“We’ve got time,” her eyebrows were down, she looked too focused, she sat down and pulled me down to sit facing her.

What’s the matter with her???

“Fajer… there is no time! We have a bigger issue with La6oof here”

Even SARA was staring at her confused.

Sara plopped down next to me, both of us facing Fajer.

“Niiiiiiii6raaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!! Shinuuuuuuu haathaaaaaaaaaaa??? Laaaaaaaaiiiiish anaaaaa maaa adreeeee shiiiiiisaaaaaalfaaaaaaa?”

Even Noor was furious in a very delicate way !!!

Sara stood up! Finally she was willing to put things back into order…

‘Look guys… in the carnival, Jood, here, had a big fight with S3ood.. because she had a crush on him and he totally digarha when she told him she loves her,”

Noor, Fara7, Fajer, and La6oof all gasped

‘By mistake!” I quickly added.

“Anyway, Fawaz had a major crush on her the whole carnival. And Jood here only noticed it when he supported her when she was crying!
So here, in the Camp, S3ood was totally 7mar and totally ignored her and Fawaz because they love each other… I think! And when Fawaz was talking to Jood aside, S3OOOOD decided to yida55al.. and it ended up with Fawaz and S3ood Fighting!!”

The four girls gasped again!

“and S3ood LI7MAAAAR fattan 3ala Fawaz, and now Fawaz is fired!’

Fraaaiii7oo ishta66at oo ingizet 3ashan togef “5en sawweee STRIKE!!”

“WHOAW! WHOAW! WHOAW WHOAW!”

Fajer iwgifet ba3ad oo ga3da it5izny 5azza 7a8eeeeeeeeeera!

Shfeeha Fajer???? Abbiii, ihya 7adha bint ityannin oo 7laewa! Shfeeha faj2a gamet taglib 3alay???

“Jood… do you LOVE Fawaz??”

First, I stared at her surprised because of her sudden anger, and then I starred at her like this was the stupidest question I have ever heard in my whole life “ee”

“oo he loves you back?”

“I think”

Faj2a Sarooo itlaegifet “YOU THINK??? EEEEEEEE! He totally ADORES you, Jood’

Fajer stared at Sara then stared back at me, “Does he know you love him?”

That was the hardest question yet…. But what’s the matter with her?? She's irritating me!

“Fajer… madre…. Laish? Shfeech?”

Suddenly tears stared to fill her eyes, all her anger drifted away… she stared at me in total pain….

“I LOVE HIM” she blurted out!

to my readers

2009-06-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

Heeeeyy everyone!!! Tara sorry I can't post anything right now... not until Tuesday! Bas don't worry ;) la2anna i will post 2 parts on Tuesday 3ashan a3awith :P.... see ya!!

Carnival Crush Part 16 - heart ripping news

2009-06-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Mary Poppins!!!! notice her clothes :P !!!!!!!

I got out of the bathroom at 1:30 PM. I dragged myself back to my group, as soon as Sara saw me, she ran to me and jumped on me to hug me!

“Jooood! Tara walla we’re soooo soorrry!”

“3ala shinu?”

“Tara walla ma kan 8a9dna inza3lich, bas kina ga3deen inta’3ashmar wiyach’

“mita?”

“ha? Shfeech 3el lunch’

“huh?!”

“La7tha! Intay laish gomtay min il lunch table?”

That was when it all came back! OMG they all thought I got up and now I came back crying because I felt bad when killihom kanaw yi6anizon 3alay.

“LAAAAAAAAAAAAA2!!! SHAAAAAAY THANYYYYY WALLAAAAA!”

“7LFAY? I7na i5tara3na!!! Chan gilteelina malat 3alaich 5ara3teeena!”

“hehehehe! Sorry! 3ad intay bint 5alty il mafrooth it9eedeenha wihya 6ayra!”

“Sha9eeed?”

“il salfa ille ana za3lana 3alaiha!’

“Ay salfa?!”

That was when I started telling her everything, and I mean EVERYTHING starting from the carnival with S3ood then when I met Fawaz and when he told me he had a big crush on me. Then, what happened just now, Fawaz and S3ood punching each other and fighting because of ME.
Meanwhile, the kids were busy with their toys and reading with a teacher and all these 5arabee6, we were just supervisors to help around.
Sara’s jaw kept falling, and I kept closing it for her.
Honestly, I don’t blame her!

* * *

At 5 PM the first day ended and all the kids went back home.

I saw Fawaz and S3ood each leave their separate ways to their homes with bloody noses and blue bruises all over them.

* * *

Monday was one of the longest days, I was desperately waiting for Tuesday.

When Tuesday finally came... Gimt 3el sa3a 6:30 AM marra thaniya oo 9irt jahza at 7:00 AM. Fa ri7t il living room an6er ommi it5alli9.

I wore a DKNY white summer dress ma3a green marc by marc jacobs clutch oo bright red flats. i straightened my short hair oo 5alaita maflool. oo i applied a red lipstick.

Oo ana ga3da bil living room an6er omi itbadil.... chan tiyeene ommi oo ig3idet yamme imjabletny oo she looked me in the eye..

Uh-ooooh! Who died?

“Shfeech, yomaaaa??”

“salamtich, yayya as2ilich intay shfeech”

“huh?! Ana….. ma … feeny shay”

“la walla! Shakka ib jawabich ana”

“yoma shga3a itgooleen?”

“bil carnival ashoofich ittibachbibain 3ind li9byan… oo ana m5aleeetich! Laykoon 3abalich ana ma shiftich!!! Laaaaaaa, tara ana shiftich oo ilkil shafich ba3ad! Bas gilt... la2 yimkin bnayte 7aboobti 3indaha sabab mo8ni3... oo gilt ana iny a5aleech intay it9al7een moshkiltich min nafsich.. mo kila ana ily imjablitich oo a3almich.. il mafrooth ya3ny intay ib hal 3omor it3arfeen shino il 9a7 oo shino il '3ala6!.... Oo el7een ib hel camp im6ay7atle miyana wiyya wa7id lay3arfich wala it3arfena wala y9eerlich wala it9eerleenla... oo al7een bas 3ad! 3adaitay 7doodich 9ara7a!”

My jaw kept dropping more and more and more, the more she continued, the more my mouth opened up. I know who shayash ommi……. S3oooooooooood !!!!!!!!

I squinted my eyes as she continued.

7mar 7mar 7mar!! Shfeee hatha?!?!?! Ihwa ille la a3arfa wala y3arfne wala y9eerle!!!! 7MAR 7MAR 7MAR! WAYID 3INDA INNA ANA 9AY3A! IFFFFF YINARFIZ! ANA BINT MITRABYA 3IND NASS OO 3INDY A5LA8 OO A3ARIF SHINU IL 9A7 OO SHINO IL ‘3ALA6! FA IHWA LAISH YITLAEGAF????????????????????

“Jood, 7abeebty shfeech?”

“salamtich”

“la2 feech shay gooleely” amazingly, she was very calm this time. She is really taking this seriously. TARA WALLA IT’S NOTHING … BAS S3OOD IM5ARBI6 FOG RASICH YOMMAAAA SHFEECH MA TISMI3EEEEEEEEEEEEN?!?!

“la la wala shay’

“in ma giltay ra7 az3al”

“la2 bas inny 3araft al7een minu illy gayilich kil hal 7achy!”

“haw !!! ee 6ab3an!! 5altich Nawal”

“5ALTY NAWAAAAAAL???”

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

LI7MAAAAAAR GAYIL 7AG OMMA BA3AD!!!! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
AL7EEEEEEN ANA 6I7T MIN 3AIN OMMMMAAAAAAAA, MA RA7 IT7BNY 5ALA9!

“haw! Ee!! Shfee wayhich chthy ma9foog?!”

“la2 bas mista’3riba!”

………………………..

“3indy so2al…..”

“shinu?” Alla yaster….

“it3arfeeen Fawaz LiFlani?”

‘ee yomma, hatha ihwa illy yishti’3il ma3ana”

“mit7arish ib bint 3indikom? Oo 9aret salfet 6eg ba3ad?.... 9a7??”

“huh?! 5alty Nawal gaylatlich ba3ad.”

“ee walla, s3ood 7abeeby gayilaha oo moo rathy ygoolaha minu il bint ille Fawaz mit7arish feeha”

“Laish mohim it3arfeen??”

“la2ana i6ridta Nawal, oo ana abee at2akked min il bint nafs-ha 3ashan at2akked inna i7na moo thalmeen il walad.”

NA3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM??????????

I jumped on my feet!!

So far, this was the worst news I heard since knowing I failed in the World History Final Exam….

Carnival Crush Part 15 - Rumble and Grumble

2009-06-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

“hahahaha! 3ady 3ady! 3al a8al raja3teeha”

“heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Shinu ya3ny baboogha??”

I noticed that everyone laughed… except for Fajer… I looked at her plate, she didn’t even touch her food.. what’s wrong with her?? Is she sick or something?? She haven’t even spoken a word since we sat down… something is definitely wrong!

That was when I also noticed that S3ood was looking at me disgusted from the fact that I was im6ay7a il miyana ma3a Fawaz. Ishyaby hatha??? Ish-hel ligafa?

Law y9eerly aw shay, chan ok. Bas ma 3arfa 3adil a9lan!!!

Fawaz noticed and turned around to look at him, he eyed him, then S3ood eyed him back.

OH NO! I don’t want to be the reason of 3adawat-hom.

Fawaz looked back at the watch, then back at me and smiled.

S3ood looked back at his burger and munched through.

I looked at my fries, but I felt awful, I’m soo not in a mood to eat anymore. I got up and walked away. Everyone was looking at me wondering what the hell I was angry about. The only 2 people that knew why, were S3ood and Fawaz.

Fawaz got up and came after me.

“Jood, wait!”

I waited.

“Shfeech?”

“La wala shay! Bas barid 7eg my group a66aman 3alaihom”

“ga3deen yit’3addon ma 3alaich i66aminay. Inzain… uh… laykoon im3a9ba 3ashan S3oodooo”

“shrayik?! Ya3ny Fawaz, intaw mat3arfoon ba3ath, oo hathe awal marra itshoofoon ba3ath oo chithy mo3amalatkom oo ana il sabab!’

“ha? Shfeech, oo il carnival shinu?”

“Bil carnival inta bas yeet yomain... oo most of the time wiya rab3ik... ma midakom it3arfoon ba3ath. Bas Please Fawaz, just give him a chance, tara walla ihwa 5osh wa7id, ta3arraf 3alaih, lat9eeroon chithy. Itha 9rtaw chithe, ra7 yikoonoon hel shahrain a6wal shahrain bitmiroon feehom, oo the worst memories will happen in this summer oo I don’t want this to happen, ok?”

“3ogob kil illy sawwa thak il Tais, itgooleen 3anna chithe?”

“Fawaz, ihwa sawwaaa 7aggy ana moo 7aggik!”

He stared at me for a moment, then smiled “wallah il 3atheem, oo kany a7liflich, innich a7san insana shift-ha ib 7ayaty.”

I smiled back at him.

He kept staring at me, looking at me right in the eye. Then, S3ood came to us.

I looked away, oo Fawaz iltifet willa yshoof s3ood warah.

“Shtaby inta?”

“Ana shaby willa inta illy shtaby? Wa55er 3anha yalla! Jood ta3alay!”

I was staring blankly, from Fawaz to S3ood, then from S3ood to Fawaz. No please, this is just the first day.

“WA55EEEER 3ANHAAA!”

“ana illy imgarrib minha willa inta illy lazig feeha?”

“Ishtaby feeha a9lan?”

“inta illy shtaby feeha?”

“latig3ed itsa2al as2eltik il bay5a hathy fog rasy YALLA, goool!’

“ABEEK ITWA55ER 3ANHAAA!”

“inzain bas 5ala9 please siktaw!” they weren’t even listening

“Jood ta3alay ma3ay! 3rfay ma9la7tich oo ta3alay ma3ay. Wallaaa ana mabe minich shay, maby ‘3air ma9la7tich. Hatha bas ib yil3ab feech oo yg6ich bil shwari3 nafs bajy il banat illy la3ab ib mo5hom”

“WHAT?!”

“NA3AAAAAAAAAAM?” oooh nooo! This is really bad!!!

Fawaz jumped on S3ood and punched him on the face. S3ood then rolled over Fawaz and kept punching him on his stomach.

‘S3OOOOOOD WA55EEER 3ANNAAAAAA”

Fawaz pushed S3ood away from him, stood on his feet, and dragged S3ood from his shirt to stand up.

I didn’t believe my eyes.

S3ood punched Fawaz on the face, letting his nose bleed.

“S3OOOOOD!”

Chan Fawaz yisde7 S3ood marra thanya oo madre shinu kan yisawiy bithab6! Kanaw athnaenhom minsad7een 3el arth oo bas ga3deen ykaf5oon ba3ath, YANAW YANAW!

I ran up to the both of them and slapped each one on his cheek. It felt good slapping S3ood, but it really hurt when I slapped Fawaz, I didn’t want to do that but I had to!

They both stopped and looked at me shocked from what I did.

“ATHNAENKOM 7AMEER OO YAHAL… ZAAIN????”

I turned away and I walked to the girl’s bathroom, locked myself in one of the stalls, and cried until I was out of tears.

Carnival Crush Part 14- The Lunch Table Gathering

2009-06-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

****Sunday, June 7****

I jumped from my bed as soon as the alarm clock started ringing.

I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and towathait.

I 9allait il fayer, and went to my closet to find me something to wear.

I pulled on beige shorts and a yellow polo T-shirt (the one with the collar and the big horse at the back). I wore yellow flip flops from ice berg and my yellow raybans. I looked so ‘summery’.

I grabbed my Black Berry with the hot pink cover and walked outside to the car. I checked my watch… it was 7:00 AM… GOOD! I am half an hour early to the camp.

As the car was driving to the summer camp area, I BBMed Fara7:

Jood: Waaaiiiinich?
Fara7: Kani, Kani
Jood: Shnu ya3ny kane? El7een intay wainich? :P
Fara7: LOL I’m in my bed :S
Jood: YALLLLLLAAAAAA GOOOMAAAAAY
Fara7: ok kani bas give me one minute oo agoom
Jood: La2, el7eeen itgoomeeen.
Fara7: ok ok bye!

That was when I remembered…. SHIIIIIIT!...

“Bakash! Bsr3a irja3 il bait!”

“la la”

“Ha? Shnu la2 la2? Irja3 il bait el7eeen nisait shay!”

“Offfffff”

6a3 hatha!........ 7MAAAR

I don’t care how late I am to the camp, bas il mohim inna I don’t forget Fawaz’s D&G watch, it’s been with me since the last carnival.. ollllaaa ya3ne ta8reeban three months.. abbaeh badda3t oo 7adda fashla.. kaefa il sayig 5el y67es!

Once he arrived home giltla: “in6er digeega” and I quickly ran inside grabbed the bag which I carefully placed the watch in and hid it in the cabinet somewhere so I won’t lose it, and I ran back outside to the car.

“Yalla Bakash roo7 7ag il Camp”

As he drove kan ga3id yit7al6am…

“Shino hada? Ana yroooh yrja yrooh yrja! Sheeno? Ana mako shokol ana?’

Iffff 9ak rasy, bas 6ab3an ana male shi’3il feeh, ana ga3da a6affer fraeee7ooo!!

Jood: yalla fara7 ma 5alla9tay?
Fara7: Shfeech intay? ana bi6ireej ifffffffffff
Jood: LOOOOOL!!! 9arly sina an6rich 3ind il gate 3afya 6reeej
Fara7: so2al intay issa3a cham ga3da?
Jood: 6:30 :D
Fara7: 9ij inich fathya
Jood: laa oo mishta66a ba3ad! ;)

3 minutes later… garrabna 3ind il summer camp….

Fara7: YA7MAAARAAA
Jood: LOOOOOOL
Fara7: im5ar3atny oo m3aylatny 3al fathy… wainich yalla
Jood: Ana kany bi6ireej
Fara7: BATHBI7IIICH

I finally reached the summer camp. The whole park was used and a kindergarden that was right in front of the park.... both of them are for the camp.i looked at my watch: 7:30 AM

The only I things I had in my hands was my BB with the Hot pink cover, and the VaVaVoom bag that had Fawaz’s watch.

At 8, all volunteers arrived; Fara7, Sara, Noor, Fawaz and his 2 friends, and 2
other friends of mine called fajer and La6oofa (she hates the name li6eefa) and the last one, unfortunately, S3ood. Errrrrrrr!!!!! In total we are 10 volunteers

5alty 7i9a gathered us all around her in a corner of the large area with the red bricks on the ground.

“Hala wala ib 7abaybe, shlounkom”

Killina: “zaineen”

“ok shoofaw” bla bla bla she went on talking about stuff and things I didn’t even listen to. Then she said she had to divide us into 3 groups.
Group one: girls from 6-12
Group two: boys from 6-12
Group three: boys and girls 3-6

Noor, Fara7, and me went to Group three. (with the cute little boys)
Sara, La6oofa and Fajer went to group one
S3ood, Fawaz and his 2 friends went to Group Two

At 9 all the kids came and all of us went to our separate groups. It was sooo much fun! 12:30 was our lunch break and all us, volunteers, gathered at a table outside and started eating our McDonald’s meals. S3ood really, really, really irritated me. He was sitting at the far end of the table and not talking to anyone, not even the boys, at least not in front of me. But when I’m around, he doesn’t talk… ya3ny wai3 wai3 wai3 maleeee8, shinu ya3ny?

At the lunch table:

“Fawaz…”

“Hala Wala”

“Shoof shybit’

I gave him the VaVaVoom bag

“Shino hatha?”

“ee inta shoof!’

“Zooooo8aaaaaaa yibteeeelaaaa hadiyyyaaaaa????” (Noor obviously)

“Laaaa2”

“OLLLAAAAA!!! MIN MITA OO HATHY 3INDICH??”

“hehehe! Min thany yom il carnival tathker lama fi9a5t-ha oo 3a6aitniyaha 3ashan ta7ady?”

“OLLLAAAAAA! Law tadreeeeeen ana shkther ga3d adawerha!!!!!!!!!!! 7atta ledarajat inny nisait 3anha oo sharait wa7da ydeeda! oo ana agooooooool laish thalith yom ana yait.... ta5ayilay... laman wi9alt chan ag3ed oo atani7 oo 9ar feene... ana laish yay????”

“hehe! Yalla 3ayal, 3el a8al el7een 9ar 3indik sa3tain!”

“waaaaaaay Jood, sh-hal borood!” (Fara7)

“ishtabeen??? Ya3ny ishtabeeny agoola? Huh?”

“it2assifay shaaaaaay!” (Sara)

I looked at Fawaz and gave him my puppy look asta3bi6… “sorrrryyyy”

“hahahaha! 3ady 3ady! 3al a8al raja3teeha”

“heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Shinu ya3ny baboogha??”

I noticed that everyone laughed… except for Fajer… I looked at her plate, she didn’t even touch her food.. what’s wrong with her?? Is she sick or something?? She haven’t even spoken a word since we sat down… something is definitely wrong!

Carnival Crush part 13- A Talk with mama

2009-06-07T07:09:00.001-07:00

****3 months later… (June) ****

“Jood, 7abeebty, ta3alay, 3inde lich 5abar mohim!!”

“Na3am yommmaaaaa??”

“Haa??? TA3ALAY IHNEE YALLA BSR3A!! bagoolich shay, haw!! Shfeeha bnyatna?”

I walked to the living room, after I just got out of bed.

“TAWICH GA3DA MIN IL NOM???”

“ee” it’s good I didn’t stumble to the ground when I said this, I was soooo sleepy.

“inzain, ma ‘3assaltay?”

“umm… la2”

“We3!! Roo7ay roo7ay ‘3aslay!! Haw shfeech intay hel ayyam?? 7attan mat’3asleen 3ogb il nom?? Shfeeeeeech??”

“yommmaaaa… intay ille nadeateeny min dary 3ashan ayeey”

“weeaaaaaaah!! Yalla bsr3a rikthay! Roo7ay ‘3aslay oo ta3alay.”

I was sooo tired, I can barely walk. Yesterday was my last exam, so my friends and I went to the Avenues to celebrate summer!! FINALLY! Ma ba8et il madrisa it5ali9. wallllaaaa malllaaaiiina!! 6aget chboodna minha!

I walked back to the living room, where ommi kanet tan6erny impatiently.

“Hala yomma?” I had more energy now.

“wa2a5eeran???!!! Ma ba8eatay!! Kil hatha 7amam?!”

“hehe! Inzain yalaaaaa… shinu ille kintay bitgooleena??”

“ee, agoolich, ana oo Nawal oo 7i9a naween insawy camp 7eg il yahal. Oo ib hel camp ra7 yikoon fee wayid activities oo anshe6a yistefeedoon minha. Methalan… ra7 inyeeb nas min il3oloom il mare7a everyday bil camp, oo ra7 yikoon fee art sessions oo kill hathe il ashya2 ille itsa3id il 6ifl inna ynamy hiwayata. oo ra7 insawy il camp ib nafs mokanna il awale, 7adee8et keifan... oo ra7 yikoon ib re3ayat Flex Kids oo Baroue.”

She was talking in a very informative matter, only I didn’t listen, ofcourse. I was busy jumping up and down the couch!! FINALLY! I’m going to see Fawaz again!! I missed that guy soooo much!!! This camp is going to be a blast!

“Haw! Jood 7abeebty shinu intay shathy?? Gi3day 3adil 5alleeech lady, 5ala9 intay kibartay 3ala hel sowalif. 3glay 3glay! Mita ta3gil hel bint ya rabby! Chem 3omrich intay el7een?”

“waaaaaaaaay yommmaaaaaaaaaaa! Ya3ne may9eer il bint tistanis??”

“y9eer oo laish may9eer. Tistanis bas 3ala rikada”

You’ve got to be kidding me!

“3omre 16” stubbornly.

“mashalla la ela2a ila allah, kbarat kbarat bnayty!”

“inzain, agoolich, yommaaaa, il mo5ayam chem moddita?”

“2 months!”

My jaw dropped to the floor.

“ya rabbeeeeee, ana madree shga3da gool tawny!”

“sorry, sorry! Bas abbbaaiiiiiiii! Wanaaasaaa!”

“ee walla wayid wanasa, bas agoolich ihwa 3 ayam bil week. Ya3ne yom Sunday oo Tuesday oo Thursday”

“ee ee zain wayid wayid zain”

“oo moo y9eer nafs il carnival ille ib February, kil shway tabcheen 3alaina, willa imsawyatlina salfa oo aflam, tara ha! ana killlllish mali 5ilg.... aw tit2a5araen!!! oo shinu ba3ad??? eee ee titlazzigean bi9bayan!!"

“YOMMMA???!!!!!"

“ee, oo lama r7tay tit’3adean wiya s3ood awal yom broo7kom, hatha shesamoona?”

His name, itself, made me want to vomit.

“may9eer 7abeebty chithy, intay a3gal oo a7san min chithy”

“ee oo il zaffa illy ta36eenyaha jiddam il nas kil shway… hatha moo kafy?”

“haw ba3ad ana baraby binty wish3alay min il nass?! Oo a7san 3ashan tit3alimean”

I rolled my eyes, I started feeling sick not only from S3ood, but also from this conversation. I wanted to ask her just one more question…

“Yomma.. mita yabde il summer camp?”

“yomma, 7abeebty, yabdy yom il a7ad.”

“oo ilyom ay yom?”

“ilyom yom il yim3a, haw! Shfeech?”

“ee, ee 9a7!”

Just today and tomorrow until I see Fawaz........

Carnival Crush Part 12 - A divorced woman

2009-06-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

I left the room crying!

Fawaz was sitting in a corner alone daydreaming, don’t ask me what he was daydreaming about ‘cause that wasn’t my biggest interest at the time.

Once he saw me crying like that, he ran to me.

My mom, 5alty Nawal, and 5alty 7i9a were all in the meeting room; three doors away from the storage room.

The rest of the people working in the carnival were Indians, Philippines, and Egyptians, and they all turned to look at me when I stumbled out the room almost screaming.

The outdoor part of the carnival was very empty; all the people left because it was late at night.

Fawaz came to me and just examined me; looking into my eyes for a moment, trying to understand me. After just a few moments, S3ood exited the storage room as if nothing happened, smiling to everyone else with his camera hanging down his neck.

I HATE HIM!!!

Fawaz narrowed his eyes at S3ood, then looked back at me with his eyes full of worry.

I was sobbing, sniffing, crying, and I gasped a few times to catch my breath.

“Follow me,” Fawaz said as he lead me back into the storage room

The picture above shows the hallway with the four rooms. The first room is beside the refrigerator but it doesn't show in this picture.

The room on the left side, beside the refrigerator is where my mom and her friends are having there small little 5etam meeting, and the room at the end of the hallway is the freakish storage room.

The first two rooms on the right, for some reason, are always empty.

I followed him into the storage room feeling very heavy.

I sat down on the floor where I previously sat, Fawaz sat in front of me to face me. He wasn’t leaning against the wall just like stupid S3ood did. No! He was sitting right in ront of me! Looking at me.

I felt like a women that just got divorced.

It was awful!

The whole time, I was sitting and crying, while Fawaz looked at the white, plain floor or looked up at me.

He was very quiet, calm, patient, and supportive.

After I felt like I was done, I inhaled and exhaled very slowly and calmly a couple of times before I thanked Fawaz,

“Thank you” whispering.

“No problem”

We sat there for another while, staring at the blank, white walls until we both said our Goodbye’s and went back home…… desperately waiting for the next event my mom and her friends will prepare for us.

Once I left 7adee8et keifan, I knew i was starting a whole new chapter.. . leaving S3ood behind me

Carnival Crush Part 11 - The White Storage Room

2009-06-07T05:27:00.000-07:00

The carnival ended and the worst part arrived: clean up time!

Fawaz and his two friends- whom I don’t know their names yet- talked to 5alty Nawal, and she agreed after a long conversation and discussion with them to check if they are serious about it.

I was so happy when I heard her tell them

“Ok, 3ayal… We’ll call you whenever our next carnival or big event comes near.”

I felt someone look at me from my left side, my heart was thumping inside.

What if it is S3ood?

I slowly turned around to see a 7an6awe boy standing near the enterance wearing white jeans and an Abercrombie black t-shirt.

He looked just like a model.

My knees couldn’t lift me, they were shaking.

I stared right into his eyes.

He was S3ood.

I quickly turned away and started walking toward Fawaz and his friends; there is no way S3ood could talk to me in front of them.

When I was walking to them, I turned and saw that S3ood completely ignored me and walked to his mom.

I’ve never seen his face this serious before, I felt so stupid, so guilty, and the whole situation felt so wrong.

My eyes got filled up with tears and I just stood in my place facing the enterance. I still have not reached Fawaz.

Someone is walking up in front of me, I don’t know who and I don’t care anyway.

“It’s okay.”

He was quiet for a moment, and when he saw that I didn’t respond, Fawaz continued,

“He is just surprised from what you said, it’s not that you said something wrong.”

I just stood in my place, still staring at the floor. Only now, I am crying. I cried and cried and cried. I didn’t care who was around me and I didn’t care who was watching me, I just cried quietly in my place.

“He’s not worth all that, Jood. I know him.”

I looked at Fawaz.... is he telling the truth?

“How do you know him?”

“Let’s just say, Kuwait is a very small country; everyone knows everyone. So…. Stop caring so much about him, damn it!”

He said those words very emotionally, then he looked at the floor too.

From the corner of my eyes, it was clear to me that he was very disappointed.

Why? Is it because I fell for the wrong guy, S3ood? Is S3ood a bad person? How? I mean, he was very helpful and kind to me in the first two days of the carnival. WAS IT ALL ACTING???

I was still looking at the floor, I lifted my head to look at Fawaz.

It was the first time I really, and I mean really look at him.

He was white, his eyes were beautiful; they were light brown and his lashes were about the same color. His hair is also light brown reflected the color of his white skin. I looked at his nose, it was perfect on him. It was not too straight, nor too round.

Just when I was about to really look in his face, he looked up at me still disappointed; his eyes full of pain and emotion, his eyebrows pulle down, and his lips sharp. I quickly looked away to my left. I saw S3ood there standing, he was looking at me.

Once he saw me turn to his side, he waved to me to come meet him in the storage room to have The Talk.

Fawaz saw it too, so he looked at me –still sad(I don’t know why)- and said:

“Good Luck” giving me a weak smile.

“Thanks” my voice shivering

I started walking towards the white, empty storage room.

I walked towards the storage room, heart thumping, hands shivering, teeth chattering, I was very terrified for no particular reason.

Was I afraid that my crush would admit his hatred toward me, or because….???

I don’t know….

I entered the storage room; it was white, everything about it was white. The walls, the ro5am, the ceiling was all plain white. There was no athath, nothing actually stored there, it was sooo freakishly empty.

I sat waiting for him to come.

The door slowly started to open, with the stupid squeaky sound ma3ah.

S3ood stood near the door, slowly pushing it again to close it, he was staring at me.... deeeep into my eyes.

Still watching me, he sat on the dusty floor leaning against the plain white wall, as I sat down too leaning against the wall he was facing.

I looked at the floor ashamed of myself.

He kept looking at me and looking back at the floor again.

This remained for a long minute until he finally decided to start the TALK himself:

His words came out slowly and clearly,

“What. The hell. Happened. That day?”

I didn’t answer him.

I was very guilty.

I started crying again.

He started playing with his lips nervously.

“You know,” he was still calm “I knew it from the very beginning. Ana kint mitradid on whether to talk to you or no, and now look what happened.” pause, “Jood, you know me, I am not that type of guy. I was not raised that way… neither were you!! This is what makes me even more surprised.” Pause... “your parents worked long and hard to raise you to become that perfect, innocent, girl. Kanaw yaboonich it9eeren ibnayya san3a, 3agla, thigeela, 3indaha a5la8 mo7tarama.” From this I got very mad, but I still looked at the floor. “Jood, why are you doing this? What’s going on, here?” Pause “Jood, listen to me, I am like your big brother. I can help you when you need me to, I can take care of you, protect you… not fall in love with you.” He paused a long moment then continued once more, “WEAN GA3DEEN A9LAN???? Fall in love, ha! Jood, tara walla i7na bilkuwait moo America oo hel 5arabee6.”

I hugged my knees to my chest and stared at my nails, I didn’t dare look at his face… MY BROTHER??? What the hell is he saying?

What kind of stupid, immature boy would say that to the girl that is madly in love with him for a lifetime?????

“oo, by the way, moo 5osh ga3da hathee tig3ideenha jiddami, tara ana rayyal, il mafrooth tita7ajjibean 3anni.’

At this, I looked at him, my eyes wide open really surprised.

I will NOT put my legs down, he is not my big brother….. THAT’S IT!!!!!

At that moment I exploded. I jumped on my feet and talked to him in an angry tone, almost yelling,

“SHINU??? Inta sami3 nafsik? Tadre ishga3a itgool???? Ma a9adgik s3ood, walla ma9dik. Inta wala ni9 ilrayal illi 3abali ihwa s3ood. Inta 7mar!! tadre shinu ya3ne 7mar?? ya3nee 7MAAAAAAAAAAR!!!”

He was more surprised than I was from myself.

I’m not the kind of person that screams and yells when they are angry,

I am usually tender and quiet.

“Jood, haddi a39abich, sh-hal 7achi allayhadach?”

“Tadre chem sina marret oo ana ma afakker illa feek? Tadree chem. Shahar mar oo ana bas an6er hel carnival 3ashan atjara2 a7acheek 3ashan bas asme3 9otik?? Tadree chem yom mar oo ana at3athab… AT3ATHAB… bas abe ashoof wayhik. Oo 3ogob kil hatha, KIL HATHA, tigoollii ana 7isbet i5tik? Minu inta a9lan???? La7tha, SHINU inta??? Sh-hal 7achee il ma9i5 illi itgoola?’

“Jood….- Jood….” But I wasn’t listening to him, I was too busy waving my hands

around angrily, dealing with too much emotions at one time.

“Tadree chem laila 7alamt feek?? Bas abii akoon wiyyak!! Oo itgoollii ana i5tik? Oo law, law kanet ‘3ashmara, ra7 itkoon abye5 oo athgel ‘3ashmara sim3t-ha ib 7ayatii!!!”

“Jood… sim3eenii…”

“S3ood, yimkin inta mala7ath-t, bas ana a7ibbik, oo awal marra a7ib sha59 halkithir. Ledarajat innii misti3ida asawy ay shay, AY SHAY, bas 3ashan ashoofik. Ana yanneat minnik, yanneaaaaaaaat. Oo ba3dain itgoollee inta o5ooy, oo kill hatha illi sawweata la2annik o5ooy? 5atheat ra8mi, 5ATHEAT RA8MII, la2annik o5ooy moo la2annik it7ibni, ya3ne kint taby ra8my la2anik it7ateeny oo 5ayif 3alay… Abaiiiiii!!”

Memories oo mawa8if started to float by… the ones I thought that were good memories turned out to be the worst..

“oo lamman shilt 3anni il karasii, la2annik o5ooy. Oo lamman kint tabii itwa55er ilhealeg illi kanaw yi’3azlooni, la2annik o5ooy??? Oo lamman-kint…-”

“JOOD” He grabbed both my arms and pushed them down, he looked me straight in the eyes to calm me down.

I was angry.

NO! I was furious because of all the days I wasted on him.

“Jood, bas sim3eeni, ok? Bas give me on minute, and then you can say all you want to the wall when I leave..”

JERK

“Jood, I’m sorry for everything, ok? It was a mistake that I talked to you in the first place-”

does he think I love him because I talked to him? Did he not listen to me? I first talked to him only 2 days ago. I loved him for years. Not normal love, insane love!

“I shouldn’t have done that-“

‘No, it’s not because-“

“What did I say?”

OMG! He’s even acting like a stupid older brother.

“Just let me finish ok? So, in my opinion, the solution is not to love each other and all these stupid things”

DID HE JUST SAY LOVE IS STUPID??? HE IS SUCH A FREAK!!!

“it’s to just put everything behind us and act like we don’t even know each other, ok? Remember ish7alatna the first carnival? Ma7ad yikallim ithani, kilmen ib shi’3la.. yeah! That’s how I think we should be right now, how about that?”

‘You know what??? FINE!”

I stubbornly left the white storage room crying.

ibdaaaaaaaaaa3

2009-06-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!! ib Washington sawaw mosaba8a 7eg il artists oo il mobdi3een.. oo shiroo6 il mosaba8a inna they don't use anything except for a blank white peice of paper.. oo il nateeja.... WOW!!

hehehe! ana law SHINU a9eer mithilhom!! la2 ya3ne abbaiiii mashala madry shlon yifakroon ;P

Carnival Crush Part 10 - Join us, pleeeaase

2009-06-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Distracted ;************ Love u

________________________________________________________

I looked at my watch, 5:04 PM.

No S3ood.

No Reply.

Nothing!

Fawaz disappeared suddenly for some reason somewhere.

So for the whole four hours, I’ve been wandering with stupid kids, showing them around, playing with them, or answering parent’s dumb questions about the carnival, the reason for it, bla bla bla.

I got really bored, tired, and hungry by 5:15.

But I am in no mood for eating… 7adda moo wagta!. But I have to shove something in my empty stomach.

I grabbed Sara, my cousin, and walked to Starbucks.

Sara is about my height, but a bit fuller. She looks sooooo gorgeous (unlike meL) and

has long wavy hair. She has a unique style in selecting the clothes that suit her.

Everything about her image is so perfect.

I ordered a fresh mango juice smoothie.

It was amazingly delicious and refreshing.

She ordered a frappacino chocolate.

We walked back to the carnival.

I took one more quick spin around.

No S3ood.

No Fawaz.

Where are all the guys when I need them? Why are guys suddenly starting to repel me? Am I that horrible with them? Do they hate me? What is going on?

I didn’t even take Fawaz’s phone number to call him to give him his D&G watch back.

Is this some kind of stupid prank?

Then I saw Fawaz outside the carnival, leaning on the wall of a nearby mosque, talking to a couple of cuter guys around his age.

I walked up to him.

“Fawaz, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure!”

Fez min mokana and he walked up to me curious. It was then that I realized I don’t really have anything to tell him. I gotta make up something and quick. I am soooo stupiiiid! What’s wrong with me? Why did I even call him!

“Uhhhh… I-I…”

“ What?” almost laughing.

I finally came up with something to tell him! The carnival is only a few hours away until it ends.

How about I ask him to work with us in the next event?

“No, umm.. the carnival is only a few hours away from ending, and I just thought that…. Maybe.. if…”

“Do you want my….?” I knew what he was about to say: phone number. I did, but that wasn’t where I was going.

“La2 la2! I want you to work with us.’

“Work with you? But how?”

“Wala it will be so much fun.” Suddenly enthusiastic

“I know-with you-but..” Then he came to complete silence. His eyes poped out.

Oh my gosh! He is so like me, I just hope he won’t turn around and run away just like I stupidly did!

I quickly tried to aragi3ha for him so he doesn’t feel embarrased.

“Yeah, and with you too. 7adna ra7 naf9il oo be9eer 7adda wanasa.”

I felt so proud of myself. Why didn’t S3ood do that? I HATE him

He was quiet for a sec, then he pulled himself back together and continued on with the conversation,

“what about your mom?”

“ Hehehe! Forget my mom, let’s not tell her. Let’s talk to S3ood’s mom, 5alty Nawal, she is so much nicer.”

“Ok! I will totally come. But what about the guys? Can they come too?”

Guys coming to work with me? Duh, ofcourse they can come!!!!!!

I tried to act as cool about it as possible, “Yeah, I mean, if you feel it’s better, then why not?”

“I mean, only if it’s okay with you, right?”

I laughed, gently, “Ok with me? Ofcourse it’s ok with me.”

I just hope he doesn’t understand it the correct way!!!

“Ok then, I’ll talk to her. Thank you so much.”

“No thank you, you’re going to keep me company” joking.

“What about the girls, there?”

“The girls? No, I mean…. Heheheh.. madree!!.”

“Ok then, see ya!’

I walked back and I thought to myself:

Yessssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

I was so happy, but where the hell is S3ood I checked my blackberry to see if he sent me

a message.

No messages. I am starting to hate him for that attitude.

* * *

Carnival Crush Part 9 - LATE

2009-06-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!

I woke up from the annoying sound of my alarm clock.

I huffed and puffed as I gathered all my energy to get up and turn it off.

I sat on my bed looking at my feet.

What happened yesterday? Was it a dream or real?

I have always imagined myself telling S3ood how I feel about him.

My head was pounding, it felt very heavy, I can barely lift it.

I lay back on my bed, slowly, thinking things through. I still wasn’t fully awake… I went back to sleep.

* * *

“OH MY GOOOOD!!!” I jumped out of my bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom; my hair standing up, my eyes popping out, and pajama all wrinkled up.

I overslept, I am soooooo late for the carnival!

The third and the last day of the carnival!!

I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, rubbed my hands with soap and ran out to get changed.

I wasn’t thinking nor daydreaming as I usually do as I get ready, I just focused on getting done.

I changed my clothes. I wore my white pants with a red Juicy T-shirt.

Then, I quickly combed my soft, straight, short, black hair and put the necessary things in my red clutch, and put on my makeup; a very thin eyeliner and a red lipstick, I looked adorable.

When I was done, I wore my red Juicy flip flops and grabbed my BB.

I quickly called Bakash, our driver, to go outside to take me to the carnival.

I ran to the stairs, as I ran, I called our maid to quickly come with me to the car.

Everything happened in a rush.

When I finally got in the car, I looked at my watch.

OMG! It’s 12:10 PM, my mom is gonna KILL me.

I checked my blackberry, 6 missed calls from my mother. 2 missed calls from Sara, my cousin who also happens to be a volunteer with us in the carnival, and 3 missed calls from Fara7.

None from S3ood.

Then I remembered everything yesterday.

The crying.

The “I love you”.

I said that???

I actually said that.

I am so stupid, why did I say that? I ruined EVERYTHING! I can’t believe what happened yesterday, it all seems like a dream to me.

I stared out the window, looking at the trees as they swiftly passed by. I looked at the street as it forms in lines when your in high speed.

I looked at people’s car numbers, how each one is unique.

As I was looking out my window, something felt wrong. I feel like I forgot something, I don't know what!! But something is definitely missing.

It was the longest ride to the carnival.

Now, I need to think about S3ood. What can I do? What will I tell him when I see him today?

Suddenly, it felt like I was quickly getting closer to the carnival, I didn’t want to arrive. I started feeling nervous and my stomach started to fill up with fluttering butterflies.

I threw myself into a deep hole that doesn’t have a ladder just by telling S3ood “I love you’.

The trick here is how to build the ladder to escape the hole.

I have to THINK. (wow that’s hard)

It was that moment that Bakash parked the car near the carnival.

I didn’t move.

He pressed the button to open the automatic door to signal me to leave.

I looked at the door as it slowly opened, it seemed like I’m going to enter the gate to hell.

I grabbed my red clutch and slowly placed my feet on the ground and got out of the car.

Bakash closed the door and drove off at high speed.

I looked at the car as it drove away, then looking at the floor with all my hopes down.

No! I didn’t do anything wrong, I just told him my feelings. Why is it wrong for a Kuwaiti girl to let out her feelings to a Kuwaiti guy? I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t steal a bank or kill a guy. I just said the truth.

I CONFIDENTLY (finally) lifted my head and took my first step to the carnival.

For some reason, Bakash was stupid enough to park the car down the end of the street. But I don't mind walking, I actually need that to think. I walked to kiefan's park (where the carnival is), every step seemed faster than the other.

I suddenly felt anxious to enter the carnival, excited.

I wanted to see S3ood, I wanted to confront him, to tell how I feel about the whole situation.

I finally reached the carnival.

For the first time, the carnival was crowded at noon.

Kids were running around everywhere and parents or maids running after them.

How the hell am I going to find S3ood?

Then… “Jooooooooooooooooood!!! Where weeeerre youuuuu? I got soooo worrieeed.” Ofcourse, it was Noor.

I gave her a weak smile, “well, here I am!! Gotta go.”

I stepped away from her and took a couple of steps away so she could stop talking to me, moo wagt-ha killish!!!

I let my eyes scan the whole place.

No sign of S3ood.

I walked and wandered around like an idiot looking for my dear S3ood.

I can’t find him.

Suddenly I heard a voice behind me.

“Looking for someone??”

I quickly turned around and unconsciously blurt out “FAWAZ!!’ I was surprised, actually more than surprised to see him confidently standing there. That was the time I knew what I forgot, I knew what was missing when I got in the car.... FAWAZ'S WATCH!!
I can't mention it to him. No! SHIT!! What am I going to do?

“Ishda3wa chithi mi5tar3a? manii maklich ana.” shyly.

My cheeks felt hot and red. “hehe!! Inzain…. Shift S3ood? 9arly sina adawra madry waina!!”

“Mino s3ood??”

“7m7m…. uhh…. The guy I kind of… uhhh.. you know? The guy that was with me the other day.. uhh-“ HELP!

“eeee, 3arafta!! Hahaha” …….

“inzain… yalla text him!”

“Sorry, not gonna do that.’

“laish?”

“I tried to imitate your stupid idea of telling the person you have a crush on that you love her –“

“YOU TOLD HIM YOU LOVE HIM??”

“YES! And I totally regret that. So I am so not going to listen to your stupid ideas ever again.’

“Well, I didn’t tell you to do that.’

“But you did do it, didn’t you?”

“Whatever. Just text him okay? Trust me.”

“Sorry, can’t do that.”

I gave my back to him, smiled to myself a tiny smile and walked to my mom to tell her I’m here.

As usual I found my mom in total chaos, everything was wacky and bizarre around her!!!

“Mama, I came.”

She quickly turned to face me, leaving everything she’s working on behind.

oo lamman she turned to face me, kanet i3yoonha imbaggiga oo wayyiha a7mar oo her lips nashfeen.... uh-oh I’m in biiiiiig trouble.

“WHERE WERE YOU??? HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL SO YOU CAN ANSWER IT??? WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT HOME ANYWAY??? WHERE’S THE ‘I’M GONNA BE ON TIME I PROMISE’ THING GO? HUH? IN THE GARBAGE?????? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU—‘

“bas mama—“

“DON’T MAMA ME, GOT THAT???? THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU DO THAT—‘

“mamaaaa—“

“NOT ONE WORD!!!!!!!! I AM TALKING TO YOU, CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?”

I gazed at the floor disappointedly, not because she wasn’t letting me speak or because she was yelling at me. But because all the people in the carnival were looking at us and she wouldn’t quiet down.

“ok, mama, ok. I got that.”

“I DIDN’T FINISH!!!!” Omg! I’m dying here. Please god, let her shut up just till we get home.

“YOU DID NOT COME ON TIME, AND NOW YOU WON’T LISTEN???????” I hate my mom.

EVERYONE was looking.

I saw someone moving at the back, only three meters behind my mom’s back.

I looked up and it was Fawaz.

He was looking at me and laughing shyly.

I snorted—I swear it was by accident!!

“DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNNNNNYYYYY????????????” UHHHHHHH!!!! God, please, just let her stop.

My smile quickly disappeared!

Nothing was going to stop my mom at that moment except when her friend, 5alty Nawal, came and told her she had to calm down so the people could at least focus on their activities.

I quickly skidded to Fawaz.

He was looking at me smiling.

The way a guy looks at a girl he honestly loves.

“Enjoyed that a lot,” as I was coming near him.

“Oh yeah? Then, you should come visit us some time, you’ll see it a lot!”

It was that time I remembered S3ood again. Where the hell is he?

“Gotta go, unfinished business, see ya!”

I took a quick spin around the carnival looking for S3ood. He was no where to be seen.

Should I text him? Is it a good idea? Maybe I should try doing it. At least he’ll know I’m thinking of him.

I wrote the text message:

sent message

to: S3ooooood ;*****

Hi S3ood!! :P

Where are you ???

We need to talk, it’s soo urgent :S

Please come. And when you’re there tell me please…..

See ya ;)

Carnival Crush Part 8 - Confession

2009-06-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Lay down... relax... and enjoy ;P

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I just tana7t, I didn’t know what to tell him.

I was speechless la2anha ma ittaragga3….

He just looked at me while I was tanni7ing.

Maybe if I just walk away, he’ll forget about it. I can’t stay anymore. I have to go. I have to walk away. Where’s Fara7? Where’s Noor? Where are the rest of my friends? I NEEEED them!!

I dropped my head to the floor and walked straight ahead, I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t know who I was going to. I was just leaving him. I peaked back at him.

He was slowly turning looking at me, wayha ma9foog. OMG! What did I do? I messed up everything. Why? Why did I do that??

He came walking in my direction hesitantly.

No. I can’t talk to him.

What is he going to tell me anyway? Do you love me? What was that about? What did you mean by that?

I felt the urge to run. But I can’t. It will look like I love him. He can’t know I love him.

He was still walking toward me, quicker now, face ma9foog akthar.

I walked into the storage room... I felt like i needed my own place to cry in ... i want to hide... no one could see me here.

I froze.

I stood there, looking straight at the floor.

I messed up everything! He will never love me now. He’ll think I’m stupid. I AM stupid. I hate myself. Why did I do that?

I felt someone behind. Very quiet. Not one word. S3ood was just standing there looking straight at my hair. My eyes were full of tears, I was about to cry. thank goodness I was giving him my back. He walked forward to face me.

NO NO NO NO! Don’t look at me. You’ll know I’m crying, you shouldn’t know that.

He looked at me.

I lifted my head to look at him.

My lips were trembling, my fingers were shaking, Goosebumps covered my arms, legs, and back. My cheeks felt hard.

What now?

S3ood looked at me straight from his gorgeous eyes into my teary, wet eyes.

The tears didn’t fall yet. (thank god)

“Shfeech?” He asked me very carefully, quietly, and calmly.

I was still staring at him.

“Nothing.” I whispered back.

He stared more.

Let him stop! I’ll cry if he did it one second longer.

He did it a second longer.

So, I cried.

He was still looking at me as I cried.

I cried.

He watched.

I cried more.

And he kept watching

After 3 long minutes of this, he finally spoke:

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,”

“You should know, because I need to know.”

I was quiet. I did know why I was crying, it was very oblivious;

I love him, and I was afraid I was ruining everything at that moment. Everything I’ve been keeping for years might spill out, he’d know, he’d hate me, and I’d never get a chance to see his ridiculously handsome face of his. I repeated the famous phrase my dad always repeats: If not now, when? If not here, where? If not ME, who? I repeated it over and over and over again.

He was very patient, giving me all the time I need.

“I love you,” I bit my tongue, STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?????? SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know how this sentence was pronounced, I don’t know how these three words escaped my mouth, and I don’t know how these eight letters will be understood positively by S3ood.

I wonder if he’ll say them too. I hope he will ... his eyes widened… He was SHOCKED.

He stared at me in surprise. his face full of expression and his whole body’s muscles froze.

He did not move one cm, nor did he say one word.

Please don’t do that!!

We stared at each other some more. Everything seemed like to a dream to me; I became very dizzy.

I had to leave him before my emotions overcome me more than they already have. This shouldn’t happen!

I ran outside the storage room, the only possible empty place in the whole carnival, leaving him in place to realize everything going on.

I started wondering as I cried, who is the perfect person I can cry to without having to speak a word and feel soooooooo comfortable??....... Noor

I went to Noor crying, she’s the perfect person who can help me. “Shfeeeeeeeech, 7abeeeebty??”

“8i99a i6wela,” I choked the words out as I cried.

My talking was very quick compared to hers. “Maaaay5aliiiif, killll shay be9eeeer okaaay.”

The 3 boys were looking at me, I didn’t care.

I didn’t care if they were laughing, crying with me, or just ignoring me; they are all stupid.

The carnival ended at 8:30. Everyone left. I did not see S3ood.

Carnival Crush Part 7 - SANDWICHED :O

2009-06-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

ilyom shakly wayid ishta66ait 3el blog hehehe ;P ..... enjoy ;) !!!!

_____________________________________________

Ga3et a6ali3 il watch ille Fawaz nisaha 3inde… sa3ta D&G oo imbayyin inha 7aaeeel ‘3alia, 7asafa… lazim yirid ya5ith-ha.. oo etha ma red, ana shbasawe, babtilish feeha ana… 7araaaaam hathe amana 3inde ma agdar abee3ha willa at9adde8 feeha wala shay… oo moo ma38oola ba5alleeha zeena 3inde laen a9adfa ib 7ayate mara thania (3ogob ma atzawaj S3ood hehehe) Oo abbaaaaaiiiii, this boy has a crush on me, a big one! Oo imbayyin min il 6aree8a ille yi5izne feeha 6ool il yom inna Y7BNE more than I love S3ood… if that’s possible.

I walked back to my activity area, arts and crafts, 7aaiiiiiiiiil mt7ab6aaaaa!! Abe ashoof Fawaz mara thanya. "Lana" kanet 7ael im6angira 3alay, she was alone all this time…

7araaaaaaaaaaaaam.

Ibtisemtlaha apologetically. She was still angry and continued to explain to the new group of kids what they were supposed to do.

As I stood near the entrance of the activity, I was thinking about wayid ashya2.

Awal shay ina ilyom kan yom 6weeeeeel: awal shay lama kalamt il rayal il s3oodi (Mit3ib) oo ba3dain lamma Fawaz started to stare at me, oo ba3dain lama Farawla (hehehe) tha3et oo S3ood 7abeebe sa3edne oo ligalaha 5alet-ha, oo ba3dain lama ri7t soleft ma3a Noor shway, oo kalamt Fawaz 7eg awal marra, oo ba3dain … (abae 9IJ yom 6weeel) … oo ba3daen lama sa2alt S3ood 3ana, chan it9eer salfet il ti6iniz oo il thi7ik hehehehe mallet 3alaaaaay. Oo tawa lama Fawaz galle inna he has a crush on me, WOW! Awel marra yi9eer feene chithe..

Chan my thoughts dragged me 7eg mawthoo3 thane… about FAWAZ… Maybe he is cute… I don’t know. But, what about S3ood? I mean, a girl has to have one crush, not two, right?? I was thinking, like really thinking, I didn’t even know where I was looking. Who do I like more? I might never see Fawaz again, so maybe it’s safer for me to just stick with S3ood!

When I came back to the real world and back into realization, I found out that I was looking at one of three lame, hailag guys.

He was looking at me and smiling thinking I meant to look at him.

Noooooooooooooo.

He WINKED. I looked away and went to Fara7, mabe ogef ibroo7e, a5aaaaaaf.

“Fara7, that guy just winked at me.”

“bas 7igree, ra7 yimil oo yroo7.”

“ok. Bas bogef yammich.’

WEAN S3OOD??? 3AFIA SANDWICH YALLA ANA YOOO3AAANAAA!!!

That was the moment S3ood came in with a restaurant back.

I walked to him as he walked to me. The guys were still looking…

“3omrik i6weeeeel.”

“Kan za7ma 7ael!!”

“thank you 3el sandwich.”

“il 3afo, ma sawait shay!” Awwwwwwwwww!!!

I went back to Fara7 who was looking desperately at my sandwich as I unwrapped it.

“hehehe… tabeen?!”

“I neeed it!”

Ga99eatlaha ni9, ma3ana 7atan ana yo3ana… chan nakla. Lama 5ala9na, ashkalna kanet 6maaashaaaaa, 7loojna oo eedna athneana they are covered up with the sauce.

“China a7sen inroo7 il 7amam ibsr3a!”

“7ADDA”

Both of us started walking and laughing a lot.

ilHaeleg followed… waiiiiiiiii3 !!!

On our way back, we got very irritated from ilhailag and wanted them to go away. We looked very irritated when we arrived back to the carnival. S3ood came up to me.

“Jood, who are—“

He started to tell me something, but I wasn’t listening, I was admiring his face. He was so handsome. I looked at his eyes, the way they look at me and shine when he talks and smiles. I looked at his lips, they way they curve into a perfect pair. I looked at his nose, its shape. It’s so perfect. How come everything about him is perfect? Is it possible? My stomach started to flip again. His lips started to shape differently, they were amazing. The edges started to tilt up. His eyebrows also started to look different. They pointed downward. That’s when I realized he was talking to me…

“Joooooooood???… shfeech?”

“HUH?”

“Were you even listening to me?”

“UUhh..mm. you were saying..?”

“Jood, you really are something!”

“Why?’ 7assait 3omre sa6la!

“I was just asking you about these boys, are they bothering you?”

“What boys? Ohhhhh, il boys il hailag, yes they are!”

“They ARE? Then just stick with me, okay? They’ll eventually go away.”

No problemo “Ok, thank you”

“And about the boy…” He started to laugh. ‘That keeps staring at you.”

I smiled to him, “waaaaaaaaaaaaay!! He’s gone. Alright?”

“Hey, by the way, shfeehom shabab likuwait 3alaich?”

“Maybe I’m just too attractive!” I told him blinking, smiling.

“Ummm… yeah okay.” He rolled his eyes.

From the corner of my eye, I peaked at the guys. They were leaning to the wall of another activity. All three of them, facing me. They were to my 3 o’clock. The arts and crafts activity is to my 11 o’clock, and the exit is to my 6 o’clock. S3ood was my 12 o’clock. Hehehe, just trying to get used to the clock thing for future emergencies.

One of the boys noticed me peaking at him, so he nudged the others and smiled to me. I quickly looked back at S3ood.

“Latsaween chithe! Ra7 yizeedoon.”

“I was just checking if they’re looking or not.”

“Well don’t, just ignore. Ma ra7 yinfi3ich anyway!!”

I wondered if I should tell S3ood the truth –that I love him- maybe he does too! You never know what fate brings. I looked at my watch, it was 8:09.

“Am I that boring?”

Totally not, you’re so adorable! “Totally not, you’re so adorable!” OMG! DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD????

“What?”

I just tana7t, I didn’t know what to tell him. I was speechless la2anha ma ittaragga3….

Carnival Crush Part 6 - Admiting the Truth

2009-06-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Wow!!! This is the 4th post today ;P !!!!!!!!!!

_______________________________________________________________

“DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM??” He was whispering, but very loudly.

“Noooooo. It’s okay. I just wanted to know his name.”

“No, it’s okay, I can talk to him, really!”

“No. NO. No. No. If you talked to him, ra7 az3el 7ael wala wala oo ma ra7 akalmik”

S3ood stared at me first confused... then smiled.. the smile turned to silently laughing..... then to laughing hysterically!!!!

Why did I say that????

He was laughing tooo hard!!!!

It’s not THAT funny, at least not from my point of view!

He bent his back, so his stomach won’t hurt from laughing,

then he sat on the ground, it was easier.

He was so loud, my face was red, and I was so embarrassed.

Everyone who walked by and looked at him, smiled.

Then, remembering what I said from HIS point of view made ME laugh.

I started laughing too, shyly at first.

Then my eyes started to water and I started laughing so hard.

I saw Noor and Fara7 and other volunteers with us starting to laugh too.

Soon, random people started laughing not knowing what’s going on.

Then, “the boy” started laughing TOO.

S3ood’s mother, Nawal, came up to us, smiling, trying to hide the confusion.

“What’s going on?’ She asked me behind clenched teeth.

I calmed down a bit, still laughing: “No, it’s just something I said.”

“Okay, now go back to work.” She said as calm as possible.

I love her, so I obeyed her.

I turned to S3ood smiling who managed to calm down too.

Then, when he saw me he laughed a little.

“As7abha.”

“3ogob shinu?” laughing.

“Yalla roo7 ishtar ‘3adai al7een!!”

As he walked away smiling, I was admiring him. I love that guy.

Then, ‘the boy’ came up to me confidently this time; he surprised me

“You like him, don’t you?”

I got very confused from two things; his sudden confidence while talking to me, and the sudden personal question he was asking. I stared at him blankly.

“huh?” He smiled, proudly. “What kind of question is that? No, I mean, what do you mean?” I asked still confused.

“You can tell me, I won’t see the both of you never again in my life.”

“Still not getting it!”

“Okay, let me rephrase my question to a fact… You are IN LOVE with him. Recall, this is not a question.”

“Who ARE you?”

“Oh, asif for being rude, ana fawaz LiFlani.”

‘ok…”

“Ma jawabtay 3ala so2ale.”

“ha! Chinnik gilt it’s a fact not a question???”

“yes, and can’t I change my mind?”

“la2! Kilmet il rayal wa7da… oo el7een wa5er 3ane ma3arfik”

He just stared at me, smugly smiling.

“Itha gilteelle ra7 agoolich shay.”

I stared back suspicious, he has such an innocent, handsome face.

No way anything bad can get out of him.

And by the way, what is the IMPORTANT thing he wants to tell me.

Curiosity overcame me…

“Ok… how can I make sure you will tell me what you have to say???”

Fi9e5 sa3ta oo 3a6aniyaha…

“Hach! If i didn't tell you, don't give me my watch back, ok? ”

I was staring back at him surprised

What's up with that guy??? what does he want? and why is it sooo important for him to know the truth... and Is it worth it??

La7tha… 9a7 kalama… ana ma ra7 ashoofa marra thania!! Bas wait… oo ohwa ba3ad ish-hel ligafa ilzayda??? Shinu ib yinfa3a ya3ne etha 3araf??? Ifff! Bas ana abeee a3aariiiiiiif….

“ok.................... yiiiimkiiiiin…….. ana I have a liiiiiiittle crush on that boy, bas”

He looked just the same way as the first time I talked to him.

“I have a big crush on you.”

He quickly turned and walked away out of the carnival.

La7tha… ay walked?? Illa RAN out of the carnival.

Ana 3ad 3ala ma astaw3ib ille galla illa ihwa barra il activity area!!

I stood in my place 7aaaaiiiiil SHOCKED min ille gala.

“WAIT!” Chan arkith wara (chinni el7een bala7ig 3alaeh, hehehe) He was too quick, so I quit and watched him go.......

Carnival Crush Part 5 - The Plan

2009-06-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

I made this post a long one... and it's a MUST READ!!!!!!! .... enjoy :)

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I turned around, irritated.

WHO is disturbing my plan?

It was my friend Fara7.

“JOOD!” She said running up to me until she reached me. “finally I found you! Come quickly.”

“No, I can’t—“ I started to say, but she already held my arm and was dragging me to another activity area. I got SO mad.

“NA3AM??” I asked her when we finally reached the area.

She pointed to a little kid sitting on a chair.

The kid was crying her head off, she was screaming oo idmoo3ha arba3 arba3.

Her head was red and she was sitting alone.

How come I didn’t listen to all this noise?

“She lost her aunt.” Fara7 told me.

“What? What about her parents, her siblings?”

“No, she came with her aunt.”

“And her aunt just left her here?”

“Yes. I know, really irritating. So, what are we going to do? I didn’t know what to do, so I came to you ‘cause I figured you’d know what to do, but you look confused and now no one can help us.” She was talking REALLY fast at that moment; I don’t like people who talk fast, ‘cause I get irritated.

She was started to run to someone else, I held her hand and yelled:

“WAIT!” I knelt to the kid and got my mobile out. “What’s your name?” I figured I had to start talking nicely to her so that she won’t freak out more than she already is.

“Farawla.” She answered very quietly, her lip quivering, her hands shaking as she tried to wipe her wet eyes. FARAWLA?? What kind of stupid name is that??? Farawla?? As in strawberry? Hehehehe! I can’t believe it.

I turned to look at Fara7’s reaction, but it looks like she already knew.

I looked at her smirking and she shrugged.

“Ooookay, FARAWLA.” I tried not to laugh“my name is Jood, do you know your aunt’s phone number?” I asked getting my fingers ready to dial the number on the phone.

“NO!” She answered almost screaming it! She started crying again, only louder.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at her trying to calm back down again,

“How about your mother’s mobile number?”

She was still crying as she shaked her head strongly.

“Look, honey, how about we wait here until your aunt comes back, she’s probably just Shopping in the bizarre on the other side of the carnival, ra7 tirje3 lat5afeen.”

She cried, I’m sure she didn’t even listen to me.

I looked at my watch.

It was 6 PM and S3ood still didn’t come.

What’s wrong with him?

Suddenly my mobile beeped. It’s a message.

I breathed out in exhaustion and clicked to see who sent me the message.

It was a new number.

Who is that???

1 NEW MESSAGE

+009650000000

7 o’clock

What??

I looked at it confused. It’s not 7 o’clock. I looked at my watch, it was 6:00.

I turned to Fara7 and grabbed her rist to see the time: 6:00.

I got very confused and tanna7t 3ala il message. I turned back to FARAWLA, hehe and tried to calm her down.

Then, I remembered in a movie, they used the clock to tell the person beside them where to turn. So when they tell the person beside them 3 o’clock. He’d imagine himself in the middle of the clock facing the 12 and turn to face the number three on a clock. Unconsciously, I turned to look at 7 o’clock, still having a confused expression.

I lifted my head up and saw S3ood standing there looking at me and smiling, laughing just a bit at my expression. He walked up to me,

“Not familiar with it, huh?”

I laughed at myself just a bit.

“JOOOOOD!” Fara7 yelled when the kid started crying louder. Uhhhhhhhhh, sometimes I want to kiilll her!!!! This is my moment!!!!

“Just a second” I told S3ood as I turned around to help the kid.

“No, let me.” He stepped in front of me, grabbed Farawla’s hand gently and took her to the security. The security went and made an announcement for Farawla’s aunt to come.

She came as soon as she can, apologizing for what happened.

This whole thing took about 10 minutes and I watched the whole thing, admiring S3ood as he did it. I felt someone look at me, so I turned to my left and saw that the boy was looking at me AGAIN.

He was normal in length, had light brown hair and 3asali eyes, he was so adorable.

He wore a red polo t-shirt with a big mark on the back with Kaki shorts and crocs.

When I looked at him, he quickly looked away, shyly feeling stupid about himself. S3ood came to me:

“All done!” He said.

“Thank you, why were you late?”

“Don’t know… the guys! They… asked me to go out with them.” He was sort of apologizing.

“Oh.” I said. I grabbed my blackberry and saved S3ood’s phone number.

Fara7 finally calmed down and settled back in her place calmed down.

She is extremely skinny yet stylish, she has long black hair that reaches her shoulders, she also has a cute hair band, wearing a Burberry jacket with skinny jeans. She has a cute look but she usually gets very taken away with emotions; they take over her.

“Ok,” S3ood said starting to walk away. “Gotta go tell my mom I’m here. She’s probably worried about me.”

“Yeah, ok.” I told him.

The cute boy with the polo T-shirt was still looking at me. I went up to him confidently back to the plan.

“Any help?” I told him seriously, not smiling for the first time.

He looked very confused; he didn’t know what to say. He just stared at me for a minute blankly, worried.

Then he finally managed to say: “L-l-l-la2”.

I pressed my lips together, letting them form and line and smiled.

“Ok,” I said and walked away.... mission accomplished!

I didn’t know where I was going so I figured I’d go to Noor.

Noor is a very friendly person. She’s is very mamloo7a, always puts makeup that looks reeaaally good on her, straightens her hair all the time, wears tight clothes, and LOVES the color pink. Anything pink is cute; now you can tell she’s such a girly girl!! Maybe just a bit too much!

“Hi Noor.” I told her.

“Hiiiiiiii.” She replied almost melting, she’s always like that! She always says a thing that seems like she’s hugging you, she’s just too emotional (She’s also Fara7’s cousin, I guess that’s obvious by now!!!).

“So. Wachya doin?” I asked.

“Ta5ayyilay. Kan fee yahil abbeeeeeee 7addddda yishawwwig, iyannin, zou8a, yane chan yigooli: shithmich? Waaaaaaay, iyanniiiiiiiiiiin.”

That’s it? All this for: shithmich? Ok it’s cute, but not that cute.

I missed S3ood, there are only two days left with him, today and tomorrow. I needed to talk to him. So I turned around and started walking to him. When he saw me walking to him and smiling, he started walking to me and smiling too.

When we finally met:

“Hungry? Wanna go eat lunch?”

“Yes, but no! mali 5ilg ommi.”

“right.” He said disappointed. “I’m going to buy lunch, do you want me to get you anything?”

“Why not?”

“What do you want?”

“Um… get me a sandwich, I don’t care what, just anything good.”

“n.p.”

‘Hey, um.. S3ood..Do you know this guy?”

I wanted to know this guy’s name, maybe he’s related to me and that’s the reason he’s staring at me a lot.

“That one, with the polo t-shirt?”

“Yes!”

“No.” I was disappointed, I really wanted to know who he was.

“Why?” he asked.

Should I tell him or not? Tell him or not?.... Tell him!

“He’s been staring at me the whole day.”

“WHAT??!!” He asked surprised, his eyes were wide open, his eyebrows up.

What’s the matter with him???

“WHY??’ I was surprised and for some reason I don’t know… scared!

“I… don’t.. know”

“DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM???????”

Carnival Crush Part 4 - Secret Admirer? a

2009-06-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

“Can.. I.. have.. your……..phone number”

He said it very slowly, but the ending came fast, he probably wanted to get finished.

I looked at him, totally SHOCKED.

I am totally NOT going to give him my phone number, even though I love him the most in the world right now, there is no way I am going to give him my phone number. No!! No Way! It’s just wrong.

“It’s just that…” He continued, hoping I’d interrupt him by saying yes. “What if I need you in the carnival.. and… I.. don’t find you, you know?”

I looked at him shocked and confused at the same time. I felt so stupid. But maybe he has a point, what if he DOES need me in the carnival. I mean, I am going to give him my number for work, not for any other reason, right?

I was thinking; yes, no, yes no…. yes no???After a while, S3ood continued…

“But… if.. you don’t want to..-”

“No, it’s okay.” I said quickly. Not sure of what I was doing at the moment and I gave him my number.

He tried not to smile while he saved my number, though I felt him smile. I was smiling too.

* * *

We got back to the carnival, not one word on our way back.

I watched my steps carefully not wanting to slip again, though I desperately want him to hold my hands.

When we entered the carnival, the place was at total chaos.

We quickly split to bring things back to order now that we have strength to do so.

I went to stage, where the puppet show was performing, but the show was now over and chairs were a mess, everywhere!I was stacking chairs, but then S3ood came up to me:

“I can do that, you go stack the books”

“Ok” I answered and quickly moved to the books section. He’s such a gentleman!

My mother came up to me, hands on her hips.

She never has such a countenance except when she is totally exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, and confused:

“Where were you?” She half screamed.

“I went to eat lunch, mom.” I said it almost whispering nudging her to quiet down.

“You should have told me first, I was looking for you all over the place.” Her voice was still loud, her hands were flying everywhere!

She EMBARRASSED ME.

“With whom did you go?”

“I went with S3ood?”

"You went with S3OOD??!!” Voice still loud.

S3ood looked in our direction across from us, looking at my angry mother.

“Shhhh, mom!”

“Why did you go with him, 3eab 7abebty”

“Who else do you want me to go with? ALONE?”

“Don’t talk back to me like that.” I rolled my eyes.“Stop doing that, you know I hate it when you do that.”

“Sorry, okay?”

She gave me a dirty look that walked away.

S3ood came over to me.

“I’m sorry if I put you in trouble, do you want me to go talk to her??” He had such an innocent face, I wanted to hug him.

“No, it’s okay.”

* * *

I should probably describe myself: I have the most beautiful smile in the world; the best smile as my friends tell me. I am as people say na3ooma. My bashra is very smooth and clean, my eyes are normal, my eyebrows are not bushy nor thin, just normal. Not dark nor light, in the middle. But as my friends tell me: marsooma. My nose is my biggest worry, I hate it! It’s ugly. It makes me look very different, it changed my whole appearance. Though many tell me, it’s normal, or as my dad once told me, It’s straight, perfect, superstars make plastic surgeries to have a nose like yours… I don’t believe him. My bottom lip is okay, but I feel that my upper lip is a bit thin. My teeth aren’t white nor yellow, they’re normal and 9affa wa7da. I’m not white, dark, yellow, 7an6awiya, I don’t know what I am, but I am slightly closer to 7an6awiya. People who aren’t my friends think I’m white, but my friends have been with me for a long time and seen me quite too much so they know I am 7an6awiya... a bit. But if there were any troubles in my face, THE SMILE takes it aaaall away. I have the best hair in the family, my hair is dark, thick, straight, and extremely soft (mashallah), in parties, when I straighten my hair, and put on the thin eyeliner, blush, and the lipstick, I become extremely attractive. Even when I didn’t even put the makeup, random people from Aqua Park sometimes come up to me and tell me I’m mamloo7a… they make my day!!

On the second day of the carnival, I was extremely fa9la when my friends came.

People come up to me to ask questions, and I’d open a whole conversation with them, everyone EXTREMELY adored me.

By the time it started to get really crowded was at 5 PM, the place was full of everyone; kids, maids, parents, everyone!

A Saudi father with his wife came up to me with their 2 daughters and one son to join the activity. I was standing near the arts and crafts activities to organize the children when they entered. S3ood still didn’t come.

The father came up and asked me: “Can my children join this activity?”

I smiled to him: “sure!”

He smiled back, and turned to look at his kids, “come along! Don’t be shy, go sit over there in the small chairs.”

From far away I noticed someone looking at me, I turned around hoping it was S3ood. It wasn’t, it was another guy about my age admiring me.

He smiled to me. I thought it was friendly to smile back, so I gave him a friendly smile.

I turned back to the father with his kids and saw that the kids already got in the arts and crafts area; the arts and crafts supervisor called Lana from Syria looked at me confused.

I quickly walked in laughing and helped them sit in their seats.

When I got outside the Saudi father was waiting for me for some reason. I went to him still smiling.

“Ok, thank you” I told him smiling.

“No, thank you,” the father told me, “Can I have your name?”

“Jood”

“Wini3im Jood” I noticed he was holding his hands together in front of him.

I didn’t know what to reply, so I just smiled.

The guy who was looking at me before was still standing there and looking at me.

“Intaw min il si3oodia??” I asked the father.

“Yes!” He replied cheered up.

“7ayakom allah.”

“Thank you, thank you, you have such a wonderful country.” Very oblivious, he was yijamil.

I smiled back. (I smile a lot)

His wife hugged his arm and laid her head on his shoulders, he was a bit irritated from that action so tried to lightly move his arm away from her but he couldn’t.

“Yallah mit3ib.”

She told him as softly as she can.

“Yallah.” He answered starting to have a serious/angry expression on his face, and they went away.

The boy was still looking at me, I wanted to go talk to him.

Not as in TALK, but like ask him if he needs help or anything… very innocent. hehehe!

I was walking up to him, pretending I didn’t notice he was even there. And then when I get near him, I’d quickly turn around ask if he needs help, if not keep moving quickly as if I have a job to do.....

That was the plan.

As I was walking to him, I heard: “JOOOOOD!!!!”

Carnival Crush Part 3 - The SHOCKING request

2009-06-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone :D today I'm going to post at least 3 posts 3ashan a3awith il 3 days ille i left you hanging ;P

__________________________________________________________________

“Are you OKAY??” s3ood gallii, oo kan shakla 7eal worried.

“ee, ee.” I told him smiling, “bas 7addi yo3ana.”

“oh!” He was still looking at me worried, not looking where he’s going.

"ay ma63am tabeen"

“3adi! Ma yafrig 3indii.” I said.

“Your call.”

“Ummm…. McDonald’s?’

“la2 wayid za7ma, oo athneanna 7ael yiwa3a.”

“Burger King?”

“Ok.”

Oo faj2a gam yamshe ibsir3a asr3 min misa3a, oo ana ga3da a7awil ala77ig bas manii gadra. Ya3ne ana atwa88a3 law kan yigdar yisheelnii chan shalni. Bas ana kint 7ael ta3bana ledaraja moo 6abee3iya; I didn’t even eat breakfast. My stomach was gurgling, my head was spinning, my feet were slacking, and I wasn’t watching where I was looking and…

SWOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!

Zalagt jiddam at least 50 people 7awalay!!!

Law kint 6al3a wiyya rifeejatii chan 7addi itfashalt, bas dam inna S3ood yammii, makoo ay moshkila!!!

S3ood lef 9obee oo med eeda lee, oo hel marra his eyes kanaw ya3ne 9IJ worried, chan yigoolle marra thania:

“are you okay?”

ana 7ael tidodeht lamma sa2alnii

“I guess.”

Maddeat eedi 7egga hesitating, chan yamsik eedi.

MISEKHA!!

Ma 9addagt! Kan widdi inni akfe5 wayhe aw azlig marra thania to see if it hurts just to check if I’m dreaming or not!! I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world, I’d rather not be doing anything else in the world but this. I didn’t want this moment to end. I just wanted to pause it for a second. LA7THA….. is it right? Should I be doing this? Hey, wait, it’s okay, ‘cause he’s just helping me up, right?

He pulled me up with all his strength.

I was up, he still didn’t let go.

We started walking, he still didn’t let go.

I was smiling.

I looked at him: “Thanks”.

“N.P.”

He let go.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

Lamma wi9alna 7eg Burger King, sa7able kirse oo 5allane ag3ed, chan yichandis oo yis2alne,

“shinu tabeen ta6libeen?”

“ay shay.” I said as I put my head down.

He hesitated, then he walked away to order, I think he was running. After a few minutes he came back, brought my order, he put it in front of me and settled down. I looked up… FINALLY!!! Food.

I looked at him.

Should I thank him or did I thank him a lot today???

He’s just too kind.

I didn’t thank him oo ta7asseft 3ogob.

Athneanna kaleana sakteen, wala kilma! I was looking at the people around me. Does my mom know I’m here? Is it okay that I’m here with S3ood alone?? I looked at the different people surrounding me. I was looking at their clothes, their make up, their bags, and their SHOES. S3ood was looking at me for some reason. Was he looking at me because he was concerned or because he loved me? I reeeaaally hope it’s the second choice.I looked at him. He was still looking at me. I smiled to him. He smiled back. We kept staring at each other, there was totally something between us, until he looked away. I should’ve looked away for god’s sake, I’m the girl. I looked away too. I looked at a girl’s pair of shoes, they were very elegant, simple, and cute. I loved them. I felt him look at me. I unconsciously turned to look at him. We were both looking at each other AGAIN. This time I quickly looked away. He was still looking. Haw!!! Shfeeeeee? What’s the matter with him? Does he have a crush on me too?

“Can.. I.. have.. your……..phone number” he asked.

Carnival Crush Part 2 - The stupid, chubby kid

2009-06-03T13:30:00.001-07:00

It was 1:30 PM and people started coming, at least my prediction was close enough.

il nass bidaw iyoon oo ibsir3a 9ar za7ma ib kids, maids, mothers, 3arabanat, chaos,

everything…

3el sa3a 5:00PM, the carnival was at it’s highest level of chaos. oo ana kint 7eaaaaaal mitnarfiza, my mom and her friends were very panicked the whole time and bas ga3deen yi7oosoon yishta'3lon. Mita ma 7awalt akillimha agoolaha shay, she yells at

me.

So I just keep my distance.

kint 7addddddi yo3ana oo My stomach was gurgling, I was mad at everything.

Chan iyyeeni 9bay i9'3eer imtubtub lamman kan il puppet show ib yabdii. About everyone in the carnival grabbed a chair and gathered around the stage to watch the puppet show. The chairs finished and this chubby kid was still facing me.

“

NA3AM?” I asked him with angry eyes.

abe Kirsee.” He answered stubbornly.

“MAKO KARASI, 5ALI9AW!!!.’

‘

ambala ako!! bas intay ma tabeen ta36eeni.’

‘

bas 3A6NII sabab WA7ID laish ana ma a36eek Kirsii? iifffffffffff!’

‘

Intay ma it7ibeeni, intay tikriheeni.’

‘

wai3 wai3 yahil!!"

I NEVER talked to kids that way. I love kids a lot. I adore them, and I am usually like a mother to them. But at that time, I was so hungry. I get very irritated when I’m hungry.

“

bagool 7eg ommi.’ He said about to cry.

La2, wait.”

I scanned my eyes around the room, looking for anything he could sit on. I found this small round wooden table. It was up to my hip, It wasn’t exactly small, it was tall but small, get it? Anyway, I went to the table and the stupid chubby kid was following me.

“

Bit5aleeni ag3ed 3ala HATHA?”

“

Okay 3ayal,” I looked SO smug “moo shar6 tig3ed

”

I was about to walk away when he said: “OKAY OKAY!”

ri7t 7eg il table oo 7awalt asheelha. aBBaeh, wagt-ha 7essaet-ha 7eeeaaal thgeela!!! ma kan 3indii 6a8a killish la2anni i didn't eat breakfast nor lunch, oo kanet il sa3a 5 pm, my body was so overwhelmed from the chaos, then the hunger, then the stupid, chubby kid. Misekt il 6awla min its side and tried to drag it, it made a loud, squeaky sound. EVERYONE looked around at me. I pretended I didn’t know and bassed 6ala3t il table. FASHLA!!!!

Out of no where, S3ood came to me smiling: “Need some help?” awwwwwwwww!

Without waiting for an answer he went to the table, smiled to the stupid kid, and carried the table.

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” I told him, it was a lie, he had to!

He didn’t answer me, he knew I was lying. He easily carried the table, flipped it and held it foge his head and walked to the stage. He placed the table at a great spot. The kid was happy and then S3ood came back to me, looking at me, smiling. I was melting from his eyes.

“

ilyahil yinarfiz, 7eeaal stubborn”

“

I KNOW!” I said smiling.

“

ta3alay ma3ay 5annit'3adda, athnaenna mayteen yoo3.”

‘

ishdarrak?”

“

shlone ma ityoo3een 3ogob kill hatha??? yalla imshay, lunch is on me.”

“

No, no, no, I’m fine; baroo7 a5ith floos min ommi.”

“

I don’t think so.”

we both looked at my mom, she was yelling at an Indian guy for hanging the poster the wrong way.

We looked back at each other, both laughing and walked out of the carnival. wagt-ha oo i7na namshe 7eg il food court, kint 7ael ta3bana oo rassi kan yidoor wayid. min allif wayhe 7ael, yi9eer feeni blackout 7eg a moment ba3dain ashoof 3adil marra thania. Awal marra yi9eer feeni chithii bas 3ashan hunger!!! faj2a il mokan gam yidoor feeni, 7asseat 7ael faint, 7asseat inna rassi 7ael thgeel. s3ood laf yamma to make sure I was still beside him, chan yirid yi6ali3 jiddam, ba3dain realizing how I looked, rad laf ibsir3a yi6ali3nii marra thania looking soooo worried oo gallii:

"???are you OKAY"

Carnival Crush Part 1 - The start of something incredible

2009-05-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

HEY everyone ;D hatha awal part min my story .... enjoy!

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He never looked at me, nor have he ever noticed my existence.

Except for that one time; I was staring at him and even when he looked I didn’t look away, I thought he was an Egyptian guy who suddenly walked in our carnival. When I was about to leave and go back home, he just looked at me, then looked away.

I felt so guilty and stupid at the time. How can I not tell the difference between my crush and an Egyptian guy (even though I can't see very well from a distance, but I was still stupid!)??

* * *

The next carnival finally came, and it’s time to see my crush again!

We’re both sixteen.

He is a bit taller than me, 7an6awe, and has black hair.

When I saw him there, I hated to even look at his side after what happened a couple of months ago.

I went and salamt 3ala his mother, Nawal.

I love her so much la2anha itmoot 3alai, she always considers me san3a oo thgeela (she probably didn’t see me with my friends lamman akoon fa9la!).

Then I salamt 3ala my other mom’s friend, 7i9a, she’s okay.

The three of them usually make carnivals from time to time in public parks. It's usually in eid or gergean.

I wait for them desperately just to see my crush, his name is S3ood.

I sat with them because they were the only people there, other then s3ood and philipenes.

I went to the carnival very early, and people don’t usually come to a carnival mal yahal il sa3a 9

AM. So I just sat and listened to their plans.

After about 15 minutes malleeeeaaat 7eeeeaaal, I told my mom I was going to the bathroom to fix my hair.

I walked out the carnival’s area and went to the women’s bathroom in a nearby mall.

I looked at myself in the full length mirror; I had a thin i-liner on, transparent lipgloss, and wore a beige dress that looked so cute.

It was my favorite dress and I wore it especially for S3ood, even though I know he isn’t even going to look at me.

S3ood is very miltizim and mi7tirim nafsa, I have never, ever seen him talk to a girl before. even though his mom always talks about him and says that he is very fa9la and crazy and isn’t mature.

I love guys who are fa9la, they’re fun and you don’t get bored sitting with them.

He comes to the carnivals because he is a very good photographer and my mom and her friends want pictures of the carnivals so they can keep them as a memory.

So he has to come everyday all the time and takes pictures all day.. 7araaaaaaam!

But I think he enjoys it.

I didn’t really fix my straight, short, black, soft hair, I just needed to walk ‘cause I got very bored of sitting for 15 minutes not moving.

I walked out and on my way I was chatting on the MSN with my Black Berry.

2 guys looked at me as if it was the first time they ever saw a girl in their life.

I hate it when they do that; I get so irritated.

I reached the carnival’s area across the food court.

As I passed S3ood I looked at the floor; I don’t want him to think I’m interested in him (even though I have the biggest crush on him in the world!).

As I crossed I felt him looking at me, I was smiling inside.

Then I heard someone call me: “Hey!”

It was the sweetest, most irresistible, and the most beautiful voice I ever heard in my whole life.

I turned around............. SHOCKED.

Could it possibly be S3ood?

S3ood is talking to me?

OMG.. is he talking to me in front of our mothers, what would they think?

What does he want from me anyway?

I looked at him, It couldn’t be him.

I thought to myself. He looked at me, and smiled the MOST incredible smile I have ever seen in

my whole, entire, 16-year life... and asked:

“Jood, right?”

The way I looked at him was like this: A gang stole me, slapped me in the face 3 times on each cheek, then drowned me in the water, in and out the water, in and out, in and out 7 times. Then slapped me again and I still didn’t realize any of it or istaw3ib it.

I just stared.. OMG he’s soooo cute.

“Yes!” I said quickly........... “Do you want something from me?”

“No, I’m just bored because I’m sitting alone and there’s nothing to do.”

“Oh!”

(If I could smile, my lips would have cracked from the edges)

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen, you too, right?” I knew the answer to that question anyway.

“Yeah. Hey you have a Black Berry! Cool.”

“adreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! ahali 3a6oniya 7eg my birthday!!"

“ana widdi ib wa7id, bas ahali yigoloonli that I should buy it on my own. Minweanlii 200 KD??”

I smiled; He’s talking to me. My dream came true,

I looked away at my mom to check if she was looking. She wasn’t, she and her friends/coworkers

are too busy getting ready to notice I’m even here.

Is what I’m doing wrong?

Is it wrong to talk to a boy............ Nah!

We’re just talking about normal stuff.

“When’s your birthday?”

“Last January”

“Cool, you’re one month older than me”

“You’re birthday is in Feb?”

“Yeah”

“It must’ve been last week, then. Right? ‘cause it’s only feb 13.”

“Yeah, feb7”

“Happy Birthday”

“hehehe!! thank you!”

He was sitting down, and I was standing facing him. We were not too close or anything, but it just

felt wrong.

“Jood, gi3day.”

He got up and pointed to the chair. I wanted to hug him.. waaaaaaaaaay 7adddddda rayyal!

“oo intay - inta?”

I wasn't used to talking to a guy, hehehehe

“I’m okay!”

“la la 3adi, a9lan ana malleat min il ga3da.”

“I guess that seat is gonna stay empty until you sit on it.”

I smiled to him

“I wonder when people will start coming.” He said looking at his watch.

“I guess by 2 PM”

“4 and a half hours to go.”

There was a moment of silence, leffeat oo ga3da ashoof illi yishta'3lon yi9iffoon il bitha3a 7eg il

bizzare. chan i66ee7 3ainii 3ala a pair of slippers 7ADHOM YISHAWGOOOON. kan lonhom orange (my fav. color) oo fee white bow. zoooo8a. 6aret 3aeni 3alaeh. sare7t oo ana a6ali3ha. ba3dain 7esseat fee a77ed ga3id yi6ali3nii. chan alif, willa s3ood kan yi6ali3nii 6oooool il wagt. fa ibsir3a lef, chan ana alif ba3ad la2anna fashla atanni7 ibb wayha. raddeat a6ali3 il slippers marra thania, kint ga3da at5ayyal nafse albis-hom bil beach. abbaaeeh abeeeeehom. chan la shi3ooriyan alif 3ala s3ood, hem ga3id yi6ali3ni marra thania. be88eat alif, chan ashoofa ma lef, fa 9arlina a moment there oo i7na bas in5iz ba3ath.

“Shnu?” sa2alta, it came out as a laugh, but I wasn’t really laughing I was just smiling.

“la wala shay....” He was still looking at me.

“bassss…”

Will he tell me he loves me? Will he kiss me? What is he gonna do? Whatever he’s gonna do, he better do it quick ‘cause I’m dyin’ here! Hey wait! I’m not in a romantic movie. This is Kuwait.

I looked at my mom to check if she was looking, she wasn’t. Why do I feel so guilty about talking

to my mom’s friend’s son.

“It’s just that” He continued “What’s up with you the other day? You were staring at me the WHOLE carnival.”

SSHHHHHHHHIIIT! I knew he’d say that!!!

“ hehehehe !!! Oooooooooh! That stupid day! It’s a long story.”

“Let’s hear it, I’m sure it can fit in 4 hours and 15 minutes!” and he gave me the mind blowing

smile of his that I simply can't resist!

Uuhhhh! A cute boy with a great sense of humor. WHY ME??

“I just thought you were an Egyptian guy who faj2a came to our carnival with no invitation, no family, no wife, no nothing. So I was staring at you to figure things out.”

“WHOAW! You thought I was EGYPTIAN??”

“Yeah, it’s not that you look like them, it’s just that I have a bad vision from far away, and I just guessed you were Egyptian.”

“Oh. Thank goodness.” He looked up, then looked at me and gave me a half smile. oo lamma

ibtisam this smile, bayyinat ithroosa illi ityannnnnnin! ithrooosa beeatha oo mashalla 9affa wa7

da. ilmafrooth yinadoona 7eg da3aya, a9lan!!! At that time, my stomach burned; it flipped and flopped. My cheeks burned and I had goose bumps all over my body. He was incredibly handsome for his age. I just tana7t at his face, I’d do anything to marry him. I can’t handle it anymore.

My mother saw me and called me: “Come help me hang this poster, Jood.” I quickly looked away and went to help her out.

From the moment i left him for a minute and walked away, i knew, I JUST KNEW that this was going to be the beggining of something really.... incredible!

Welcome ;D

2009-05-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone !! ;D Welcome to my blog!! I hope you enjoy it...

This is my first post, and I'll be writing about a girl who has this serious, crazy crush over a boy she'll never get. This girl, Jood, is 16 years old and is in love with S3ood, her mother's friend's son (3ad istaw3ibaw ;P). oo i've been working on this story for a while, like about 5 months. and now I have decided that I should let other people read what I worked on.... I'd really like it if you commented on my story.. thanks a lot ;D !!!